for Plea1/23/2006 c1 
112Jace1
Wow I love this poem, it says a lot about wanting to just do what you do.. More people need to do this! And in responce to your review on my "poem for him" Patience is a virtue, and very difficult to be... I'm sayin that you should be patient, but its hard to be patient even when you should be. I guess to me it made perfect sense.. any how, Thanks for the Reviews and Keep Up the great writing!
112Jace1Wow I love this poem, it says a lot about wanting to just do what you do.. More people need to do this! And in responce to your review on my "poem for him" Patience is a virtue, and very difficult to be... I'm sayin that you should be patient, but its hard to be patient even when you should be. I guess to me it made perfect sense.. any how, Thanks for the Reviews and Keep Up the great writing!
1/23/2006 c1 6Carleon
A very good job, the poem is quite lyrical in its style. I just have reservations about the line "I want to see and learn new things"- it doesn't fit in with the rest of the poem. Apart from that, again, excellently written.
6CarleonA very good job, the poem is quite lyrical in its style. I just have reservations about the line "I want to see and learn new things"- it doesn't fit in with the rest of the poem. Apart from that, again, excellently written.
1/17/2006 c1 17J. N. Laerasyn
Very simple, and yet very beautiful. Your rhyme did not sound forced anywhere, which I have noticed tends to be problem when you use couplets (sp?) like that. A few lines came close, but not quite. The only real criticism I have would be that the "let me fly" concept has the danger of being slightly cliche, though your words make it lovely enough to not be. Ok, if I remember correctly from your profile, you're an X-men fan, so I know I can say this to you without worrying (lol), but I got an image of Angel from the comics as I read this. It must be those huge wings, I guess... (He's in the new movie, you know. I can't wait!). Anyway, very good.
17J. N. LaerasynVery simple, and yet very beautiful. Your rhyme did not sound forced anywhere, which I have noticed tends to be problem when you use couplets (sp?) like that. A few lines came close, but not quite. The only real criticism I have would be that the "let me fly" concept has the danger of being slightly cliche, though your words make it lovely enough to not be. Ok, if I remember correctly from your profile, you're an X-men fan, so I know I can say this to you without worrying (lol), but I got an image of Angel from the comics as I read this. It must be those huge wings, I guess... (He's in the new movie, you know. I can't wait!). Anyway, very good.
1/13/2006 c1 46Victim of the Wraith
It's a very deep poem. Sorry it took so long for me to respond to your review. Many people can probably relate to this. At least I can. People are always trying to mold me into what they think I should be instead of what they want me to be. But that's enough. I love the visions of being grounded and trapped. You use some very forceful words which add to the tone of your poem.
I'm sorry to have to tell you this but my penname has nothing to do with Tolkein or The Lord of the Rings. In fact I've never read the trilogy before so I didn't even know that there was something called a Wraith in them. It was a good guess and very eye-opening but it's not the meaning behind my penname.
...Victim of the Wraith
46Victim of the WraithIt's a very deep poem. Sorry it took so long for me to respond to your review. Many people can probably relate to this. At least I can. People are always trying to mold me into what they think I should be instead of what they want me to be. But that's enough. I love the visions of being grounded and trapped. You use some very forceful words which add to the tone of your poem.
I'm sorry to have to tell you this but my penname has nothing to do with Tolkein or The Lord of the Rings. In fact I've never read the trilogy before so I didn't even know that there was something called a Wraith in them. It was a good guess and very eye-opening but it's not the meaning behind my penname.
...Victim of the Wraith
1/11/2006 c1 Joelle Duran
Lovely! Who can't sympathize with that feeling?
I also like how you begin and end with the same rhyme.
Lovely! Who can't sympathize with that feeling?
I also like how you begin and end with the same rhyme.
1/10/2006 c1 breezy nostrils
it's interesting, but i found the rhyming is forced. when you rhymed, you limit what comes out of your write. i'd recommend you write first and rhyme later. it'll come out more smoothly that way. anyway, keep on writing!
it's interesting, but i found the rhyming is forced. when you rhymed, you limit what comes out of your write. i'd recommend you write first and rhyme later. it'll come out more smoothly that way. anyway, keep on writing!
1/10/2006 c1 11les petits bateaux
I simply love the bubbling determination in this, and how you expressed the urge for freedom. Beautiful.
11les petits bateauxI simply love the bubbling determination in this, and how you expressed the urge for freedom. Beautiful.
1/10/2006 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
Great rhyming, I really love the heartfelt nature of this. Keep up the good work.
Much love,Juliet.
1k+Faithless JulietGreat rhyming, I really love the heartfelt nature of this. Keep up the good work.
Much love,Juliet.