1/18/2006 c1 140happypills03
wow this is really goodkeep writing! :)

1/15/2006 c1 94smile persephone
I've read a few of your poems just to get a feel for your overall style before I review something of yours. (I've also seen a couple reviews that you've given, which is why I was directed here.)

I think, though I could be wrong, that the majority of your poetry is satirical. It is meant to be taken as a stab at the angstangst writers (in most cases). Satire isn't easy, and well-executed satire is even more difficult. With time, everyone improves, though sometimes you have to play with different styles to achieve the higher levels. Also, rhyming doesn't work in every circumstance. And despite the fact that you enjoy it, you may want to consider a different method. It is a difficult skill to master, but from what I've seen, your abilities at utilizing rhyme are growing stronger. Sometimes it works better than other times, though.

Poetry is an art form. Everyone finds their muses differently and everyone uses their wisdom differently. Experiment with changing your poetic styles to achieve better effects and tones.

About the content of the poem, I like the ending. It adds more to the sardonic tone of the piece. It turns the entire poem around and on its head. Interesting.

1/14/2006 c1 115HauntedMisery
Ha ha, those are not the only reasons why I want to be a satanist. Oh and by the way, I know more about both religions than what that story makes it appear I do.

What I don't understand is, if you think my works suck so bad or that I'm so stupid, why are you reading them? If you don't like them don't read them because in all honesty, I got quite a few people that like them and you are wasting your time if you are trying to get me to change how I write. It's just my feelings into words. oh and by the way, I'll be whatever religion I choose to be, not by what people say or think because in all honesty, I don't care.

Oh and by the way, even though you are not nice to me, I'm going to be nice to you, this poem is actually really good, so, keep writing, good job.

1/13/2006 c1 13Donut prayer
That was very emotional, and if you ever need a friend i'm here, just msn me on my address

1/13/2006 c1 Whynter
Hello! This is a rather good poem, and I can see the depressed emotions you tried to convey quite clearly! Though some parts, just to rhyme or get the rhythm right, you get a little off grammar... or it just doesn't really sound right. For example:

"I put a book on the shelf

And sit and ask to myself"

The 'to' is rather redundant and not needed, though it did help to make the rhythm flow... but it still sounds vaguely wrong.

"Man, how I want to get well"

I think you wrote 'get well' for the rhyming's sake, but 'get well' seems to be more for physical injuries and not for emotional injuries, so it does sound a bit out of place here.

"Sigh, if only everyone can see

How perfectly human is me"

Again, it's meant to rhyme, but in the process of trying to get it to rhyme, you got the grammar messed up. I think you are aware that it is supposed to be 'How perfectly human I am'. But when read aloud, 'How perfectly human is me', it sounds quite wrong and out-of-place, even though it's supposed to rhyme.

Overall, not bad, but beware of your rhyming! :) Have a nice day!

- D'Jiera

1/12/2006 c1 229TheBrokenWanderer
*sigh*...If only I could count the number of times I've felt like that in my life...actually, I'd rather not know...this was very well done, and I'm glad I got a chance to read it...(I'll be your friend if you want :)

~TheBrokenWanderer~