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for An Unconventional Princess Story

6/8/2009 c1 Spurlunk
Interesting and well written, but I didn't understand the last bit.
5/26/2009 c1 history943
I love your story : i find it so funny . i love annie ( she's the perfect pricness : she can think! ( i'll wonder if cendrillon and the other princess can think).
8/8/2007 c1 44A Sapphire Rose
I enjoyed this story quite a lot. Annie sure is a spunky character and some of the things she did, like running away from her unwanted marriage and selling her spun gold on the black market made me laugh. Keep up the good work.
1/18/2007 c1 37bitterpaper
This story is hysterical! Annie is so mischevious and-well, I truly like her character. And the ending was just perfect. Kudos!
4/5/2006 c1 Laura Barton
I found this story to be entertaining and I think I enjoyed the ending the most. I like the way that it was different from the rest of the fairy tales out there, thus I also think that it fit the title pretty well. There were a few parts that I would say were pretty clichéd, however later in the story, you began to turn away from them or give them some sort of twist.

In this story I also enjoyed the humourous portions. I feel you took some of the clichés and with those twists made them more amusing.

It was fairly well written as well. I think there could have been a little more detail though. A lot of the time I felt that the story was pretty detached from the characters. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but to me it's like you haven't really described what they feel or why they feel it, thus the detached sense.Also I think more details would have helped with the flow of the story. While the flow was pretty good, things seemed to be happening mildly too fast to me.I found several errors within the writing as well, and I would suggest re-reading this and editing it. Several of these errors had to do with grammar and a few of them were having to do with just using the wrong word.

Overall good. I just think that the things I mentioned need to be worked on at least a little bit. =)
3/14/2006 c1 lolatheloser
the ending is kinda confusing but the story is good in the sense that it is a classic story but has a twist
2/7/2006 c1 1Loriency
haha, it was perfect! I'm so proud to say that i helped to write some of it! lol. I think it'll definitely get some recognition. it's hilarious, to put it simply. Very enjoyable to read, although the grammar was a bit of a hinderance. The characters, while they didn't have much time to be developed, were as believable as they could be. Hope you'll write more stuff like this-it becomes your style. Anyway, I gotta go. My bro wants me off the ocmp. Cya!
1/18/2006 c1 9Queen Anabella
This was a really cute story. The plot was original and the characters were vibrant. The only advice I can give you is to be more descriptive. Make it so people can see the story in their minds. :)Thanks for reviewing my story, by the way.

-Queen Anabella
1/18/2006 c1 5Lily D'Arouet
i'm just a hopeless romantic, i suppose, but i would have liked a bit more wuv in the story. maybe will could help her escape and act as her envoy to the black market.

then again, why be traditional? who says that will and annie ought to fall in love at all? maybe they could become a loveless bonnie and clyde - well, without the sappy love story anyway. just a suggestion.

great story. you might want to expand on her life at armand's castle - it seems rather abrupt to shift from the sleep to the castle to the running away. just how long was annie there anyway? enh, it's your story.

blessed be, lily
1/17/2006 c1 Rose Red Revolutions
Yay! Great story! You'd better get into that workshop! I'd give you the full review you wanted, but you already know what I have to say. ^_^
1/16/2006 c1 3BlameTheToaster
this was a great story! i cant really think of anything to critisize on. aside fom maybe it seemed a little too...opposite and perhaps a tad too predictable. it was still a great story i didnt move untill i finished reading. :) good luck in getting to the writing workshop!
1/14/2006 c1 Atheyllia Fox
This really is a unconventional princess story. And it is good.

The detail is there, but there's just enough so the reader can imagine it for themselves. The way a mondern-ish twist is in the story makes it have some amount of humor.

The thing I'd tell you to improve on is explaining some of the character's emotions. You showed us reasons for not wanting or wanting to do things, but not the emotion that goes into it.
1/14/2006 c1 31Shadow Gryphon
*laughs* I really, really liked this. It was every bit as unconventional as I expected, and the ending was great.

Suggestions? Hm... Well, you do make her seem a bit like the Feminist!Sue when you list all the masculine things she can't do. Stick with one or two things - I liked the passageways and the books, personally - and it might fit better.

Eagerly awaiting the beginning of the contest,Gryph
1/13/2006 c1 1Dacey Chevalier
It's really cute! The thing is, it's sort of like Spindle's End. But still, I think it's funny. About your pen name: Holy Cow it's so great to see another Tamora Pierce fan! I'm guessing Alanna is your favorite character. I prefer Aly, myself. Toodles!

xOTeenWriter109Ox

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