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for I used to be ripe

1/23/2006 c1 236mezzie
"lost in its seventh stage of growth" i particularly liked that line. overall very macabre. made me shivery and sad. ohh and "tunnel vision keeps me a little to the right of hysteria" - very much liked that too :)

mezzie
1/21/2006 c1 60dollface and her cancer
I like both parts, but the second part.. well. The first half is the trigger, the second half the bullet, if that makes sense.
1/18/2006 c1 25pleasecometrue
Interesting, I really like it. Great write ;)
1/17/2006 c1 36contrast and friction
God, I have shivers. This is.. just.. totally mindblowing. It is so dark & so bitter & I just love every single fucking word. I'm adding this to my favourites.

Just an amazing job. Honestly, this is one of the best pieces I've ever read. Just, wow..
1/16/2006 c1 80citrus scented
wow. this is sick, dark, bleeding and bitter. depressing, neurotic and just...amazing. the descriptions just pierce me with their sheer disturbingness, they're so vivid and unsettelingly clear: "A blue eye is rolling across the floor, stopping just short of the door.Lurking behind the sofa, I lye as stiff as a board,My clothes have crusted round my ankles.An oozing wad of nicotine gum"- really sets an atmosphere supremely well.

"I wasn’t born to save the world."- i love that line, so much. so relatable and so thoughtprovoking, yet bitter and resentful almost too (? maybe thats just me o.o)

"Your fangs puncture the scabbed skin below my ear and a little liquid dribbles from the wound.It is not blood"- oh god that was squirmingly thoughtprovoking. real powerful way with images and descriptions you have, you have such a grasp on words and how to manipulate them.

"Many maggots came to feast on our baby’s corpse of soft white meat."- that is one of the most disturbing lines ever. the contrast of maggots feasting on a corpse of meat, to the soft white baby...is just sickeningly effective. i love the ending line; such bitterness and resentment. really dark poem- you create it well.
1/16/2006 c1 77by His blood
thank you so much for your review . . . i decided to check out your poetry && this absolutely blew me away. you have such talent, this is fucking amazing. dark, beautiful in such a twisted, heartbreaking way & i especially loved the line 'then mary just dropped jesus.' i absolutely love this, can't wait to read more of your work. please keep writing.
1/16/2006 c1 a lonely september
oh fuck, this is the best i've read in the longest time. wonderful. to my favorites this peice goes.
1/15/2006 c1 144chaos called creation
Funny, how this all comes together. I can honestly say that I have never read something so fresh and unique in fictionpress before. Well done.

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