for Salamin2/25/2006 c1 anonymous
it's nice that you actually like poems/write poems.
ive read a lot of freeverse poems myself and i think i should comment so you could at least enhance your skills...
obviously you want some movement in here. unfortunately i couldn't sense the movement. you already started something in the line "umiiyak siya" but then the second line destroyed it...foloowed by the other statements. i think you should review on the basics of a poem. yes, you canwrite all your feelings in a poem...but still, telling the audiences statements and lots of statements will get you no where. if love is the topic here or a broken heart try to tell why. sometimes being too melodramatic destroys the poem.
again, the first and the last line is strong, but the body of this poem is very weak.
i suggest you read more poems.try reading the poems of neruda.
it's nice that you actually like poems/write poems.
ive read a lot of freeverse poems myself and i think i should comment so you could at least enhance your skills...
obviously you want some movement in here. unfortunately i couldn't sense the movement. you already started something in the line "umiiyak siya" but then the second line destroyed it...foloowed by the other statements. i think you should review on the basics of a poem. yes, you canwrite all your feelings in a poem...but still, telling the audiences statements and lots of statements will get you no where. if love is the topic here or a broken heart try to tell why. sometimes being too melodramatic destroys the poem.
again, the first and the last line is strong, but the body of this poem is very weak.
i suggest you read more poems.try reading the poems of neruda.
2/20/2006 c1 
10PaintingTheSkyRed
My friend laughed at me.. She speaks Filipino.. She wouldn't tell me what the poem said.. She liked it though. Thats saying something. ^_^
10PaintingTheSkyRedMy friend laughed at me.. She speaks Filipino.. She wouldn't tell me what the poem said.. She liked it though. Thats saying something. ^_^
2/11/2006 c1 linedstained frameless
Hello...thank you for reviewing two of my works, and I'd say it feels very nice to find Original Filipino Poetry on this site. Buti na lng, kasi lagi na lng english. By the way, pinoy ren ako noh! haha...anyways, nice job and please keep on doing OFP...okay? Go and write some more...
Hello...thank you for reviewing two of my works, and I'd say it feels very nice to find Original Filipino Poetry on this site. Buti na lng, kasi lagi na lng english. By the way, pinoy ren ako noh! haha...anyways, nice job and please keep on doing OFP...okay? Go and write some more...
2/1/2006 c1 Xabelle
Wow you're a poet! And Filipino nonetheless! ^.^ Astig. :P Was this poem written from experience? It really sounded angsty and confused and sad. Very nice. :)
Wow you're a poet! And Filipino nonetheless! ^.^ Astig. :P Was this poem written from experience? It really sounded angsty and confused and sad. Very nice. :)
1/31/2006 c1 anonimo
balut, penoy, sarap!
balut, penoy, sarap!
1/20/2006 c1 Forgotten Plains
Habang binabasa ko... Parang... sumikip yung dibdib ko. Alam mo yun? Grabe.
PERO nung nabasa ko yung disclaimer... parang...
"THANK GOD! WOOSHO! *suntok sa hangin*"
Wag mo akong takutin ng ganun ah -_-;;
All in all, it's a wonderful poem. If I had my chance, I'd have it published n.n;;
Habang binabasa ko... Parang... sumikip yung dibdib ko. Alam mo yun? Grabe.
PERO nung nabasa ko yung disclaimer... parang...
"THANK GOD! WOOSHO! *suntok sa hangin*"
Wag mo akong takutin ng ganun ah -_-;;
All in all, it's a wonderful poem. If I had my chance, I'd have it published n.n;;