for The Eyes of Taurus: An American Fairy Tale3/27/2006 c9 Jasper Riddle
Hmm. It would seem that Rebekah Keys has turned into...a witch? Some kind of magic-user, surely.
And things seem very realistic. You do the characters well, and while this story's plot is prolly overdone or something, the characters make it real. They make it alive, and they do a very good job-or I should say, YOU do a very good job, because it's the interactions of the characters with each other that make this so convincing.
Very good. Keep it up!
Hmm. It would seem that Rebekah Keys has turned into...a witch? Some kind of magic-user, surely.
And things seem very realistic. You do the characters well, and while this story's plot is prolly overdone or something, the characters make it real. They make it alive, and they do a very good job-or I should say, YOU do a very good job, because it's the interactions of the characters with each other that make this so convincing.
Very good. Keep it up!
2/25/2006 c8 Iren Masot
ooh...guess I didn't review the last few chapters after I finished reading them. Guess I was a bit too caught up in the story... ;)No improvements I can see at this time.till next time, keep up the good work.
ooh...guess I didn't review the last few chapters after I finished reading them. Guess I was a bit too caught up in the story... ;)No improvements I can see at this time.till next time, keep up the good work.
2/16/2006 c3 Iren Masot
Heyo. May I suggest using "snout" insted of "muzzle?" look it up and youll see there is a bit of a difference. ;)Cherades...LOL! That was so funny when Minos finally figured it out..."dreading the worst."0_o hot-air ballon? Ever heard "do you wanna ride in my beutiful ballon?"
Heyo. May I suggest using "snout" insted of "muzzle?" look it up and youll see there is a bit of a difference. ;)Cherades...LOL! That was so funny when Minos finally figured it out..."dreading the worst."0_o hot-air ballon? Ever heard "do you wanna ride in my beutiful ballon?"
2/16/2006 c2 Iren Masot
Flight attendant...before takoff...old war plane stashed back at the farm...come ON minos...2+2=?this seems dreadfully obvious to me, yet I can see Minos sitting in blind misunderstanding after all that gab from Charlie. Ha.
Flight attendant...before takoff...old war plane stashed back at the farm...come ON minos...2+2=?this seems dreadfully obvious to me, yet I can see Minos sitting in blind misunderstanding after all that gab from Charlie. Ha.
2/11/2006 c5 Jasper Riddle
Oh, nice. I rather like the idea of a mute ghost-and a friendly one at that.
What is Rebekah up to, I wonder? Necromancy? And unless this is a short story, I'm guessing she's going to kill herself-perhaps for Charlie's well-being.
Ah, ignore my random fortellings. I really do like this-it has a rather Dickens-esque feel at some points, which is quite refreshing. Keep it up!
Oh, nice. I rather like the idea of a mute ghost-and a friendly one at that.
What is Rebekah up to, I wonder? Necromancy? And unless this is a short story, I'm guessing she's going to kill herself-perhaps for Charlie's well-being.
Ah, ignore my random fortellings. I really do like this-it has a rather Dickens-esque feel at some points, which is quite refreshing. Keep it up!
1/22/2006 c3 
9Alteng
Why not indeed! Well, the mute thing was entertaining enough. It may help me later on. I have a mute character who shows up later in a story, but he isn't as expression, mind you.
As for the story, I am still interested. I liked the title of this chapter as well. You are being a bit of a smarty, but I like it. Gabe seems to be a fun fellow.
9AltengWhy not indeed! Well, the mute thing was entertaining enough. It may help me later on. I have a mute character who shows up later in a story, but he isn't as expression, mind you.
As for the story, I am still interested. I liked the title of this chapter as well. You are being a bit of a smarty, but I like it. Gabe seems to be a fun fellow.
1/22/2006 c2 Alteng
Okay, I was thinking the bit with the Christmas Carol there, but I am still intrigued. Ghosts are such pains in the posterior for not telling you what is going on.
Ah, and was Minos' mom's name Pasiphae. I made a nasty comment about that one in a Fanfiction story. Long story.
This Charles Keys seems to be a taunting little fellow (and if the name is significant, I don't get it. Duh! Hey! I know more of German folklore than I do history, so don't mind me there.) So, I take it that Minos is a somewhat intelligent fellow, or he has read some.
Okay, I was thinking the bit with the Christmas Carol there, but I am still intrigued. Ghosts are such pains in the posterior for not telling you what is going on.
Ah, and was Minos' mom's name Pasiphae. I made a nasty comment about that one in a Fanfiction story. Long story.
This Charles Keys seems to be a taunting little fellow (and if the name is significant, I don't get it. Duh! Hey! I know more of German folklore than I do history, so don't mind me there.) So, I take it that Minos is a somewhat intelligent fellow, or he has read some.
1/22/2006 c1 Alteng
I like your writing style. I was entertained by the title first off and the name of your character. I have a minotaur character named Taurus. He moos. I am also writing a couple of stories that involve Minos from Dante's "Inferno", so I am doubly intrigued.
I like the way you write John. Actually, he sound Arabic, but what the hey. I work with a Hungarian fellow, and his English is pretty good.
I got a good laugh out some of this, but it is my twisted mind, mind you. I really liked the description about what Minos felt as he went down in the plane. The thought of "Holy Shit!" being screamed out and calling the dashboard amusing things come to mind, but it was entertaining none the less, and the remark about the church and needing religion his life was rather a fun bit, too.
What would I do to improve it? I don't know as of yet. I am curious as to why is Minos a minotaur and how or why do people accept him as well as they do, but that might be in later chapters.
I like your writing style. I was entertained by the title first off and the name of your character. I have a minotaur character named Taurus. He moos. I am also writing a couple of stories that involve Minos from Dante's "Inferno", so I am doubly intrigued.
I like the way you write John. Actually, he sound Arabic, but what the hey. I work with a Hungarian fellow, and his English is pretty good.
I got a good laugh out some of this, but it is my twisted mind, mind you. I really liked the description about what Minos felt as he went down in the plane. The thought of "Holy Shit!" being screamed out and calling the dashboard amusing things come to mind, but it was entertaining none the less, and the remark about the church and needing religion his life was rather a fun bit, too.
What would I do to improve it? I don't know as of yet. I am curious as to why is Minos a minotaur and how or why do people accept him as well as they do, but that might be in later chapters.
1/21/2006 c2 5Lotos-eater
Methinks some people have been reading their Eugenides too long and too late. At least, mehopes so, because otherwise it's blatant plagiarism.
Still, if there's any plagiarism, intentional or otherwise, at least it's in a readable story. Around these parts the plagiarism is pretty common, the readability not so much.
If you want honest criticism, you've come to the wrong place, but here's my go: I didn't like the slightly pretentious beginning. If you had started at the get-go with Minos' narrative I feel like it would've worked better. (And now I'm the pretentious one.)
You write more, I read more. Deal?
5Lotos-eaterMethinks some people have been reading their Eugenides too long and too late. At least, mehopes so, because otherwise it's blatant plagiarism.
Still, if there's any plagiarism, intentional or otherwise, at least it's in a readable story. Around these parts the plagiarism is pretty common, the readability not so much.
If you want honest criticism, you've come to the wrong place, but here's my go: I didn't like the slightly pretentious beginning. If you had started at the get-go with Minos' narrative I feel like it would've worked better. (And now I'm the pretentious one.)
You write more, I read more. Deal?
1/21/2006 c1 Jasper Riddle
Interesting thus far. i wonder how it's going to turn out.
Interesting thus far. i wonder how it's going to turn out.