for exhibit 01069/13/2006 c1 
64realityescapesher
for some reason i cannot explain i'm in love with the ending of this.
64realityescapesherfor some reason i cannot explain i'm in love with the ending of this.
9/8/2006 c1 18ShadesofBlue69
This is good, i like your description of the way the rain leaves the ground and how you connect the lighting with his face.
18ShadesofBlue69This is good, i like your description of the way the rain leaves the ground and how you connect the lighting with his face.
3/30/2006 c1 40Doray
I love your power to relate rain to all the things you've included, especially in the last seven lines. It is a wonderful poem.
40DorayI love your power to relate rain to all the things you've included, especially in the last seven lines. It is a wonderful poem.
3/11/2006 c1 70Maisha Mafuriko
So vivid and alive...it is I am there, somewhere on a playground in my past... that icy coldness lingers in the line, "i clutch the metal links tighter but still they slip against my hands as they turn my fingersn u m b."
..Like how the "i" remains uncapitalized...adds to the "youthful feel."
70Maisha MafurikoSo vivid and alive...it is I am there, somewhere on a playground in my past... that icy coldness lingers in the line, "i clutch the metal links tighter but still they slip against my hands as they turn my fingersn u m b."
..Like how the "i" remains uncapitalized...adds to the "youthful feel."
2/6/2006 c1 breezy nostrils
pretty, and so delicate? i love the flow although the lines are slightly chunky. i guess it's stylistic? anyway, nice work!
pretty, and so delicate? i love the flow although the lines are slightly chunky. i guess it's stylistic? anyway, nice work!
1/29/2006 c1 26Chi Ame
Ok... I almost didn't read this because it already had 13 reviews on it... I realize now that would have been stupid of me. This is easily the best poem I have read in, well, a LONG time. Just the honesty of it was enough to draw me in ("as i drag my bare, toes through the mud leaving tiny furrows to collect rainwater & my shivering regret") and once I was hooked, you did not disappoint. This is going on my faves, without a doubt.
26Chi AmeOk... I almost didn't read this because it already had 13 reviews on it... I realize now that would have been stupid of me. This is easily the best poem I have read in, well, a LONG time. Just the honesty of it was enough to draw me in ("as i drag my bare, toes through the mud leaving tiny furrows to collect rainwater & my shivering regret") and once I was hooked, you did not disappoint. This is going on my faves, without a doubt.
1/28/2006 c1 65Aquafied
aw.reminds me of barns in the rain and where the water seeps through and makes that certain smell.
m. wood jacuzzis. anyhow, beautiful30 days, crazy, crazy.though that would be interesting to see, but people would start saying it was the end of the word and build an arc.(perhaps)
65Aquafiedaw.reminds me of barns in the rain and where the water seeps through and makes that certain smell.
m. wood jacuzzis. anyhow, beautiful30 days, crazy, crazy.though that would be interesting to see, but people would start saying it was the end of the word and build an arc.(perhaps)
1/25/2006 c1 4run rabbit run
woah... you just described a day i had in high school a long ass time ago... weird. i love it.you must live in washington, my dad has been homebound due to the rain too.cheers, and thanks for the review.
4run rabbit runwoah... you just described a day i had in high school a long ass time ago... weird. i love it.you must live in washington, my dad has been homebound due to the rain too.cheers, and thanks for the review.
1/21/2006 c1 49Chris-no-Baka
wow, this is good. i especially like the lines:As my name echos in the thunderyour face flashes across an expanse ofan abyss i'l too scared to fall into...
49Chris-no-Bakawow, this is good. i especially like the lines:As my name echos in the thunderyour face flashes across an expanse ofan abyss i'l too scared to fall into...
1/20/2006 c1 18Rovandin
Thanx for the review. Yeah, you have to put it to the right rythym for it to sound right. Fish. This poem read like your profle except it's alot easier to actually readefine as a mere symbol of what is afish represenative of whats in the air in vancouver is nothing like the air in northern Ireland. Sorry. It was a nifty poem. Good imagery. Woot.
18RovandinThanx for the review. Yeah, you have to put it to the right rythym for it to sound right. Fish. This poem read like your profle except it's alot easier to actually readefine as a mere symbol of what is afish represenative of whats in the air in vancouver is nothing like the air in northern Ireland. Sorry. It was a nifty poem. Good imagery. Woot.
1/20/2006 c1 36contrast and friction
I love this.. it's just dark & frightening. The imagery is just so vivid and oh so beautiful. I love how you have manipulated words in this, it's very clever.This is amazing, as usual.
Thank you so much for the review. It was beautiful, and it made me smile =)
36contrast and frictionI love this.. it's just dark & frightening. The imagery is just so vivid and oh so beautiful. I love how you have manipulated words in this, it's very clever.This is amazing, as usual.
Thank you so much for the review. It was beautiful, and it made me smile =)
1/20/2006 c1 132mizu no kokoro
wow... the imagery was great, gorey, touching, raw fleshy emotions~ lovely work!
keep writing!
132mizu no kokorowow... the imagery was great, gorey, touching, raw fleshy emotions~ lovely work!
keep writing!