for Deeper2/16/2006 c1 
101frigg
Very nice, I love the first sentence and the part about 'the glass that kissed your backed'. What a way to say it.
Cheers Junkd
101friggVery nice, I love the first sentence and the part about 'the glass that kissed your backed'. What a way to say it.
Cheers Junkd
1/27/2006 c1 8squiggle-line
I love the long run on sentence. Nice combination of imagery (mucky water...melting each and every coherent thought) and rambling (oh so thick skin). Minor thing: elf-shaped? Instead of elf shaped?
"But like what I am feeling..." Is the "like" necessary? Are the quotation marks around "normal" necessary as well?
I also like the ending. The one word is a nice contrast to the long sentence that opens the story. Plus, the "right" makes you're whole tone sound kind of wistful.
Nice piece.
8squiggle-lineI love the long run on sentence. Nice combination of imagery (mucky water...melting each and every coherent thought) and rambling (oh so thick skin). Minor thing: elf-shaped? Instead of elf shaped?
"But like what I am feeling..." Is the "like" necessary? Are the quotation marks around "normal" necessary as well?
I also like the ending. The one word is a nice contrast to the long sentence that opens the story. Plus, the "right" makes you're whole tone sound kind of wistful.
Nice piece.