for All for the Pursuit of Love10/17/2016 c2 Guest
I don't know how I was directed to this page but it grabbed my interest enough to read on, respect is due for that alone!
I used to read a lot of books which had a similar prelude, I like that neither of the male characters are likeable (or the female one, particularly), yet still have obviously strong personalities. I think you should build on that as everyone loves a character to dislike in a book, because they reflect something in ourselves. Why not have a book of fallible humans, they could all have a redeeming feature to relate to, but would also be much more exciting than your average historical romance.
You should also describe the surroundings, not as much as Rice but give us a clue about the era at least! These are all very personal opinions but I prefer things with a slight edge (which is why your male characters grabbed my interest). I also found that your use of hyphens broke up the flow of your prose, commas don't seem to be as hard a stop yet still allow the break of thought I believe you were going for.
Best of luck, I'm looking forward to more but don't know if I'll be informed!
I don't know how I was directed to this page but it grabbed my interest enough to read on, respect is due for that alone!
I used to read a lot of books which had a similar prelude, I like that neither of the male characters are likeable (or the female one, particularly), yet still have obviously strong personalities. I think you should build on that as everyone loves a character to dislike in a book, because they reflect something in ourselves. Why not have a book of fallible humans, they could all have a redeeming feature to relate to, but would also be much more exciting than your average historical romance.
You should also describe the surroundings, not as much as Rice but give us a clue about the era at least! These are all very personal opinions but I prefer things with a slight edge (which is why your male characters grabbed my interest). I also found that your use of hyphens broke up the flow of your prose, commas don't seem to be as hard a stop yet still allow the break of thought I believe you were going for.
Best of luck, I'm looking forward to more but don't know if I'll be informed!
12/8/2009 c17 icedfaerie
Congratulations on getting married! Well wishes, and hope that the next chapter can be up soon
I'm so envious of you...not in a I hate you way...but in a I hate you ohmygodyou'resolucky way?
Do I make sense?
Anyway, I hope you can adjust quickly! :)
Congratulations on getting married! Well wishes, and hope that the next chapter can be up soon
I'm so envious of you...not in a I hate you way...but in a I hate you ohmygodyou'resolucky way?
Do I make sense?
Anyway, I hope you can adjust quickly! :)
7/5/2009 c16 Butterfly
Thanks for the update!
Thanks for the update!
7/4/2009 c16 
2akaCHEEKS
wow. she's a lot different from the little girl from before. you can tell that she's been living with royalty by the way she ordered him around!
2akaCHEEKSwow. she's a lot different from the little girl from before. you can tell that she's been living with royalty by the way she ordered him around!
12/30/2008 c15 13FM Radio
Please write more! Please? I really need to find out what happens next. This is no longer a want but a NED! So, write woman!
13FM RadioPlease write more! Please? I really need to find out what happens next. This is no longer a want but a NED! So, write woman!
9/14/2007 c14 12the devil herself
Hey i like the new chapters. Marius might wanna tone it down a little but other than that and a few spelling probs its a good story.
The Devil Herself
12the devil herselfHey i like the new chapters. Marius might wanna tone it down a little but other than that and a few spelling probs its a good story.
The Devil Herself
9/8/2007 c1 Jennifer
hey u can make the guy fall for someone else and realize what he thought was true was a lie...and he lives happily ever after wit someone else.
hey u can make the guy fall for someone else and realize what he thought was true was a lie...and he lives happily ever after wit someone else.
9/3/2007 c14 1PurpleEyesOfTruth
He is insane... Stupid seixst idiots back then... I think you still have to work on his temper. I mean, he blows up at the most smallest things and have crazier mood swings than a PMSing girl... Seriously, it's just sometime unreasonable how he reacts...
1PurpleEyesOfTruthHe is insane... Stupid seixst idiots back then... I think you still have to work on his temper. I mean, he blows up at the most smallest things and have crazier mood swings than a PMSing girl... Seriously, it's just sometime unreasonable how he reacts...
9/2/2007 c14 dominique
i luv it cant wait for more hope u will update soon
i luv it cant wait for more hope u will update soon
9/1/2007 c14 13FM Radio
It seems like Georgianna has lost her spirit. Which kind of takes away from the story. Are marius and Georgianna ever going to fall in love? Or do you have other plans for the story?
13FM RadioIt seems like Georgianna has lost her spirit. Which kind of takes away from the story. Are marius and Georgianna ever going to fall in love? Or do you have other plans for the story?
8/31/2007 c13 FM Radio
I am so happy that you updated! I really like this chapter!
P.S. Update, update update!
I am so happy that you updated! I really like this chapter!
P.S. Update, update update!
8/27/2007 c6 dominique
i think you should make the chapters longer but the rest is awesome
i think you should make the chapters longer but the rest is awesome