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11/2/2006 c1 49ignominy
this is great. i love how detailed you are and i can see you meant the last line to be strong and it is. you should be very proud of this one.
10/9/2006 c1 14Kuzuki Sugimorii
Tension much? This is great. It shows the thoughts running through not just a swimmer's, but any athletes head before the big moment incredibly clearly. Nice work. I'll be watching for more from you.
10/8/2006 c1 xekax
ah not signed in. anyways i like it. thanks for all the reviews!
2/5/2006 c1 8shining gem
Thank you for your kind words in your reviews! I really liked your wording, and how real this was. Once in a while your timing seemed a little off, but that could've been on purpose. Keep up the good work!
2/4/2006 c1 2lirantha
You capture the tension perfectly - thoughts racing faster than the body could ever manage - up to the very end where those last five lines (6, 6, 5, 5, and 8 syllables) grow shorter, like shallow breaths before the dive and the splash. You can almost hear the water in the s of "immersed" and the dulling of all above-surface sounds in all the n's and m's. Beautiful. =) (P.S. And thanks for the review!)
2/4/2006 c1 56felicia13
Oh, nice! I like this one. The vivid images compliment the tense excitement of the race.

"And I am immersed in water." Awesome! Keep up the awesome stuff!

Thanks for the review! I really like the Silver Saline Anthology . . . Thanks bunches for your kind comments!

May inpsiration never leave you wanting!

all my love,felicia
1/28/2006 c1 51tdawgcars
Nice poem...kept me interested the whole time! Nice job.

Brandon
1/28/2006 c1 16brokendreams21
Awesome poem! I know exactly how it feels! (I used to swim competitively too!) You describe the feelings to well and this is written so smartly! I love it! It sends my heart racing! Great job!
1/28/2006 c1 92q is for quirks
oh, that was cool. good formatting. you could really see this one. good job.

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