
5/9/2011 c1 inactive-2105
I really think you should continue this story. It could turn out great if you did.
I really think you should continue this story. It could turn out great if you did.
2/2/2007 c1 SnackySnackSnackSnackSnack
This would make a great book if you continued it! *hint hint* ^_^
This would make a great book if you continued it! *hint hint* ^_^
4/25/2006 c1
65Nemonus
Interesting. I await description of the raptor city. Good prose and dialogue. SOme unexplained things make the raptors seem too human, like their view of love for example, but perhaps more will be revealed. Needs more description of people and their clothes. Hair color of "dull autumn?" A little too poetic. I don't picture it. I like you're raptor names. The capitalization of things like 'Raptor' and 'Hunting Party' is kinda annoying and I think unnesessary; they're not titles. Describe the emperor's throne and how he sits in it? Human is lowercased. "We are thousands of years in the past...today." LOL! That's cool. You describe Forte as having an English accent only at a long time after he is introduced. Do this early! Some minor typos. Continue!

Interesting. I await description of the raptor city. Good prose and dialogue. SOme unexplained things make the raptors seem too human, like their view of love for example, but perhaps more will be revealed. Needs more description of people and their clothes. Hair color of "dull autumn?" A little too poetic. I don't picture it. I like you're raptor names. The capitalization of things like 'Raptor' and 'Hunting Party' is kinda annoying and I think unnesessary; they're not titles. Describe the emperor's throne and how he sits in it? Human is lowercased. "We are thousands of years in the past...today." LOL! That's cool. You describe Forte as having an English accent only at a long time after he is introduced. Do this early! Some minor typos. Continue!