for The Madman Diaries: Noir Cloak6/6/2006 c1 
31Shadow Gryphon
A lot of ellipses here, but it works, stylistically speaking.
One bit: "My faithlessness to the one I had once loves" Loves should be loved, I think, unless there's something there I'm not getting.
31Shadow GryphonA lot of ellipses here, but it works, stylistically speaking.
One bit: "My faithlessness to the one I had once loves" Loves should be loved, I think, unless there's something there I'm not getting.
2/11/2006 c1 3Xabelle
Oh this is sad... :( It makes me wish I knew the story behind this, but I guess that's beside the point. I mean, this story is what it is, and I think the mystery behind it adds to the charm. :)
3XabelleOh this is sad... :( It makes me wish I knew the story behind this, but I guess that's beside the point. I mean, this story is what it is, and I think the mystery behind it adds to the charm. :)
2/4/2006 c1 A Beautiful Nightmare
Oh... very angsty somehow... is this a one shot? reminds me of an old legend... you seem to be a poet from the way your write so far... oh yeah... and also... "My faithlessness to the one I had once loves had its price…" - shouldn't it be 'My faithfulness to the one I had once "loved" had its price'? Or maybe I misunderstood it... hum.. I'm wierd... however... I thing did confuse me... wat does the title have to do with the story: noir cloak? or will we find out later in chapter 2? hehe update soon if that is the result...
Oh... very angsty somehow... is this a one shot? reminds me of an old legend... you seem to be a poet from the way your write so far... oh yeah... and also... "My faithlessness to the one I had once loves had its price…" - shouldn't it be 'My faithfulness to the one I had once "loved" had its price'? Or maybe I misunderstood it... hum.. I'm wierd... however... I thing did confuse me... wat does the title have to do with the story: noir cloak? or will we find out later in chapter 2? hehe update soon if that is the result...