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12/11/2013 c1 1Rose Specktor
I don't know a lot about sci-fi, but I thought it was a bit confusing. There were some grammar mistakes and errors: putting commas instead of periods, accidental capitalization, and some of the quotes were iffy. The choice of words that were in this story were quite remarkable, I thought. You have a true talent for trying to connect with your readers. All in all, pretty good. Although, you might want to break up the story into chapters. I enjoyed reading this.

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