for Why Midnight Walked But Didn't Ring Her Bell9/26/2006 c1 NO LONGER USING
I liked reading this a lot, especially because of the way you wrote it. The words and descriptions flowed naturally. The descriptions were wonderful and the plot was beautifully done. You've done a great job in writing this. ~I've.Said.Enough~
I liked reading this a lot, especially because of the way you wrote it. The words and descriptions flowed naturally. The descriptions were wonderful and the plot was beautifully done. You've done a great job in writing this. ~I've.Said.Enough~
2/2/2006 c1 
4Abigail Radle
Hmm. Interesting as a standalone. There are a few descriptions that seem stilted, a few sentences that could use tweaking. But other than that it strikes a cord.
Being incapable of writing standalones myself, I commend those that can. My characters always demand a wealth of attention. In screaming tones.
If you continued this, it would certainly lose the air of mystique that shrouds this first excerpt. And then it would potentially stand out as something disconnected, not out of place exactly but seeming to be more of a memory of sorts than anything more substantial.
It could definitely be more. There is always more... especially when the character presents herself as more dynamic than she appears at first to be. And your main character certainly accomplishes that.
4Abigail RadleHmm. Interesting as a standalone. There are a few descriptions that seem stilted, a few sentences that could use tweaking. But other than that it strikes a cord.
Being incapable of writing standalones myself, I commend those that can. My characters always demand a wealth of attention. In screaming tones.
If you continued this, it would certainly lose the air of mystique that shrouds this first excerpt. And then it would potentially stand out as something disconnected, not out of place exactly but seeming to be more of a memory of sorts than anything more substantial.
It could definitely be more. There is always more... especially when the character presents herself as more dynamic than she appears at first to be. And your main character certainly accomplishes that.