for Bird Cage8/4/2014 c1 Sheesha
Trees? Sand? Water? Where the fuck do they live, girl?
Trees? Sand? Water? Where the fuck do they live, girl?
7/17/2011 c1 
3AnonomousNotReally
great job! i really got the feel of what you were saying. hey, i would bve etstatic of you read and reveiwed my story, Home for the Normal Impaired. I dont want to seem like i'm fishing for reviews of anything. Great job!
3AnonomousNotReallygreat job! i really got the feel of what you were saying. hey, i would bve etstatic of you read and reveiwed my story, Home for the Normal Impaired. I dont want to seem like i'm fishing for reviews of anything. Great job!
11/25/2009 c1 2snowbunny44
I used to read your stories ages ago, and I always loved them, so today I decided to see if your account had anything new posted, and I realized that I had never read this story. Beautiful stuff! I hope you get a publisher soon.
2snowbunny44I used to read your stories ages ago, and I always loved them, so today I decided to see if your account had anything new posted, and I realized that I had never read this story. Beautiful stuff! I hope you get a publisher soon.
3/14/2009 c1 We Used To Wait
WHat? no way. m. soo sad. the boy got shot? you're so cruel. who cares about the girl? the boy GOT SHOT. idiot girl.
and she never really is freed in the end. . . right? she still seems trapped. but then again, i really don't care for her.
so good, this one-shot.
love your stories. :)
WHat? no way. m. soo sad. the boy got shot? you're so cruel. who cares about the girl? the boy GOT SHOT. idiot girl.
and she never really is freed in the end. . . right? she still seems trapped. but then again, i really don't care for her.
so good, this one-shot.
love your stories. :)
9/22/2008 c1 2The Dumbing Down Of Love
I'm amazed that you DON'T like your other pieces, they're all genius. And I think the phrase is "carpe diem", not carpe dium. But I could be wrong. I just saw it that way somewhere else.
2The Dumbing Down Of LoveI'm amazed that you DON'T like your other pieces, they're all genius. And I think the phrase is "carpe diem", not carpe dium. But I could be wrong. I just saw it that way somewhere else.
5/8/2008 c1 luv me like no other
Wow, I could definitely see where the "royalty" fit into this. What a sad ending though. Nice job!
Wow, I could definitely see where the "royalty" fit into this. What a sad ending though. Nice job!
11/25/2007 c1 muzikall
By the way, carpe diEm (not diUm) means "seize the day," not "live for the day."
By the way, carpe diEm (not diUm) means "seize the day," not "live for the day."
8/25/2007 c1 child of a pineapple
Oh...I liked this.
Oh...I liked this.
5/3/2007 c1 31emptyword
A bittersweet piece with some lovely descriptions. I do wish there was some more introspection, but that's just my preference.
31emptywordA bittersweet piece with some lovely descriptions. I do wish there was some more introspection, but that's just my preference.
9/5/2006 c1 4bfoundwanting
one word. intense. so incredibly intense.
Royalty is understood, yet hated. Sympathized with, yet you want to grab her buy the shoulders and shake her.
Intense. Extremely Intense.
4bfoundwantingone word. intense. so incredibly intense.
Royalty is understood, yet hated. Sympathized with, yet you want to grab her buy the shoulders and shake her.
Intense. Extremely Intense.
8/17/2006 c1 2miss understanding
I like how the prison reference refers to the title. ^_~ Ah, symbolism is your friend.
Why is she acting so guilty? Is she not supposed to be meeting this man? I wonder who he is. He gives off the whole negative vibe feeling what with blending into the darkness and all.
Carpe Dium - should be "Carpe Diem". It translates as "Sieze the day" but it literally means "pluck the day". Who knew?
They're planning a break-out, eh?
"He handed me the candle, made to the yellow bars that seemed browner, darker, beneath moon-light"
This sentence doesn't really make sense. You might want to rework it. It's no big deal. ^-^
"Pietro Dominci, what will your mother say when she finds out you've been stealing?"
XD That's too funny.
Here, you've used "made" twice with the same meaning: "made through the gate" "made towards him".
At the risk of over-repetition, I'd probably change it.
"round hats bent over steely glasses of mulled wine" - very descriptive. Good vocab.
This is so weird. It's surreal, like something out of a dream (or nightmare). And Kallina - she seems so . . . different. Is she a girl playing Cinderella for a night?
"There was no malice in his tone; nonetheless, it stung" - I think we all feel this way. He seems hurt and knowing of that pain can hurt more than any strings of barbed curses could.
ululated - I really, really like this word. ^_^
What the hell? Who are these people? Why do they have guns?
Why doesn't she seem to care? That epiphany she recieved - it made her cold and . . . well, dark. Or maybe she realized that was who she was all along.
Not a very happy ending, but I suppose we all need a damper once in a while. Good job - great, even. Just watch your sentence construct. ^_~
xchoco
2miss understandingI like how the prison reference refers to the title. ^_~ Ah, symbolism is your friend.
Why is she acting so guilty? Is she not supposed to be meeting this man? I wonder who he is. He gives off the whole negative vibe feeling what with blending into the darkness and all.
Carpe Dium - should be "Carpe Diem". It translates as "Sieze the day" but it literally means "pluck the day". Who knew?
They're planning a break-out, eh?
"He handed me the candle, made to the yellow bars that seemed browner, darker, beneath moon-light"
This sentence doesn't really make sense. You might want to rework it. It's no big deal. ^-^
"Pietro Dominci, what will your mother say when she finds out you've been stealing?"
XD That's too funny.
Here, you've used "made" twice with the same meaning: "made through the gate" "made towards him".
At the risk of over-repetition, I'd probably change it.
"round hats bent over steely glasses of mulled wine" - very descriptive. Good vocab.
This is so weird. It's surreal, like something out of a dream (or nightmare). And Kallina - she seems so . . . different. Is she a girl playing Cinderella for a night?
"There was no malice in his tone; nonetheless, it stung" - I think we all feel this way. He seems hurt and knowing of that pain can hurt more than any strings of barbed curses could.
ululated - I really, really like this word. ^_^
What the hell? Who are these people? Why do they have guns?
Why doesn't she seem to care? That epiphany she recieved - it made her cold and . . . well, dark. Or maybe she realized that was who she was all along.
Not a very happy ending, but I suppose we all need a damper once in a while. Good job - great, even. Just watch your sentence construct. ^_~
xchoco
5/20/2006 c1 6Kiyura
Wow...okay...SO good. SO GOD. This is really really awesome, and the ending just...cut me up. No other way to describe it. Brilliant. You should have won.
Heart.
6KiyuraWow...okay...SO good. SO GOD. This is really really awesome, and the ending just...cut me up. No other way to describe it. Brilliant. You should have won.
Heart.
5/6/2006 c1 8bulletproof.cupid
the ending just left my mouth ope. i'm sure if my skin was more elastic, it would be grazing the carpet just about now.
you are good, darling. real good. makes me wish i had your talent and ability. i mean shit, you're only what, 14? holy shit, indeed. you should have won. eep.
right. i'm going to read more by you. i've got catharsis on my favs for i dont know, a moth or two now and i still haven't been able to read it. school and all that shit- just sucks the life out of you. eh.
keep writing, dear, and i'll keep getting blown away.
(♥)
8bulletproof.cupidthe ending just left my mouth ope. i'm sure if my skin was more elastic, it would be grazing the carpet just about now.
you are good, darling. real good. makes me wish i had your talent and ability. i mean shit, you're only what, 14? holy shit, indeed. you should have won. eep.
right. i'm going to read more by you. i've got catharsis on my favs for i dont know, a moth or two now and i still haven't been able to read it. school and all that shit- just sucks the life out of you. eh.
keep writing, dear, and i'll keep getting blown away.
(♥)
3/25/2006 c1 5aiur
*shakes head* ... you know what i think about this. fucking brilliant. better than i would have written it. *pauses* ... um. girl. i have a prediction. you're gonna be so popular on this site soon. they can only ignore such talent for so long. *hugs* ... everything i do, love, i do it for a reason. & i do it because you mean that much to me. if you're right, & i really don't care, i wouldn't bother. i'd let you go. but i won't & i refuse to. when i hurt you it kills me i cried so hard but i really believe i'm doing the right thing & i can only pray you'll eventaully forgive me. please just think about it for a little. & remember i'm still there holding your hand, whether you remember when you wake or not.
um. check my poetry account. something's there for you. also, you're on my favourite author list. the only one up. okay? please believe in yourself. you deserve to. i do love you. & i know i'm a liar. but i try not to. i really do. i shall stop now. love you.
~kait
5aiur*shakes head* ... you know what i think about this. fucking brilliant. better than i would have written it. *pauses* ... um. girl. i have a prediction. you're gonna be so popular on this site soon. they can only ignore such talent for so long. *hugs* ... everything i do, love, i do it for a reason. & i do it because you mean that much to me. if you're right, & i really don't care, i wouldn't bother. i'd let you go. but i won't & i refuse to. when i hurt you it kills me i cried so hard but i really believe i'm doing the right thing & i can only pray you'll eventaully forgive me. please just think about it for a little. & remember i'm still there holding your hand, whether you remember when you wake or not.
um. check my poetry account. something's there for you. also, you're on my favourite author list. the only one up. okay? please believe in yourself. you deserve to. i do love you. & i know i'm a liar. but i try not to. i really do. i shall stop now. love you.
~kait
3/25/2006 c1 19toxic-noodle725
wel...pretty much speechless at this point.(thats a good thing.)u kept me guessing throught the whole chapter.i loved ur descriptions. they gave it a foriegn feel. update soon.
19toxic-noodle725wel...pretty much speechless at this point.(thats a good thing.)u kept me guessing throught the whole chapter.i loved ur descriptions. they gave it a foriegn feel. update soon.