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for Obsession

3/31/2007 c3 2writergurlLW
I absolutely love this story (And I despise your writing skill! Then again, you are a college student, and I am in the eighth grade)Not only is it well written and filled with suspense, but it is talking about the career I plan on specializing in once I get older. If it matters to you at all, you have my interest.
7/27/2006 c1 5OTWriter
I so remember when you first started writing this when we were in your parents' room and it looked weird because all the furniture was gone. But this is much better. And creepier. I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep. *shiver* So awesome. I'm so going to read on. But in the morning hehe. Awesome job. Six more days!
7/14/2006 c3 prisoner24601
Very good. You sent shivers down my spin. I've only found one or two typos that should be very easy to fix.First:"..or so it appeared to be when she had..."*this should read, or so it appeared to be after...Second:"Katharine Bowen, age 32, was possibly if not the best criminal psychologist in the state of Arizona."*"possibly if not" doesn't make sense. It should read something like, 1: was possibly the best, or 2: if not the best than,...Three: You seem to have a phobia of commas. If you must, read the story out loud. Where-ever you pause for breath or emphasis, you should put a comma.Other than that I can't find anything other than the unavoidable difference in our style and diction.*VERY* good. Looking forward to the next chapter.
2/17/2006 c1 16Enigmatic Night
Whoa this is truly whats the exact word...Disturbing.Who actually says "Please don't hurt me" ?If its the girl... which I presume it is, I think you have to move what 'he' says (You save me,) to the next line, you have to start a new line each time a different person says something. It makes it much clearer for the reader.Update soon!
2/11/2006 c1 Indiya
I loved this story. It's extremely imaginative and well-written. Keep up the good work.
2/10/2006 c1 1The Great Cthulhu Plushie
Creepy! Muy bueno. We(using the royal we here^_^) demand a sequel, or a second chapter, or something! Who is this guy?

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