for Drowning in Cold and Mystery2/25/2006 c1 
151Mireille Caelarily
Not bad to start. "Mope" is a childish word, you might consider changing it? Also, it seems a little contradictory to be talking about bright blue eyes when the person is "dark." Nice imagery. In my view, you have potential. Keep up the good work!
151Mireille CaelarilyNot bad to start. "Mope" is a childish word, you might consider changing it? Also, it seems a little contradictory to be talking about bright blue eyes when the person is "dark." Nice imagery. In my view, you have potential. Keep up the good work!