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9/4/2012 c1 9MagicWords
What a cliffie. I know this is a oneshot, but you should not end it there! I want to know what happens! I can only imagine, but I still want to know!
12/22/2009 c1 anonymous
the summary says one-shot. yet this is a cliffhanger. And this a good kidnapped story. One of the few. That I desperately crave to read. Update soon please.
5/31/2006 c1 3forks-and-bayonets
bella! i love this. it leaves alot to the imagination. good job ^ ^
4/12/2006 c1 Princess JoJo
ok, WHY DID YOU END IT THERE? now its going to bug me until you update! please do it soon! i like the way you write. keep it up!
3/25/2006 c1 the bluest eye
o, please you have to write more. its no fair you have a great first chapter and then thats it. you have to write more,please.
3/25/2006 c1 46Lavender L. C
Okay, I was on the edge of my seat through the whole thing. You definitely got the suspense thing going for you. Well, keep it up! ;)
3/25/2006 c1 ladededa
this story is great so far! there were a couple mistakes but no biggie =D. cant wait for another update!
3/25/2006 c1 eventer2
The tone in your story is absolutley unbelievable. You can feel the tension adn fear, I cant wait to read more! The only grammatical thing I noticed was that on some quotes there is a period instead of a comma. I can't wait to see where this will go!
3/22/2006 c1 14AcidxxPops
Hmm.. Interesting start, I like it so far. I can't wait to read more.

-Nia
3/19/2006 c1 6McQuinn
Criticism:

He gripped her chin and lifted up her face. Though the action was quite gentle - If the action was gentle, I'm not sure if "gripped" is the correct word to use.

“Is she the one?” Her initial captors had asked. - "Is she the one?" her initial captors had asked.

She’s just like her father.” He sneered, as he keen eyes pierced through hers and into her heart. - "She's just like her father," he sneered, as his keen eyes...

taking slow, graceful steps that seem to equate - seemed.

“You poor thing.” He whispered as - "You poor thing," he whispered as...

The leader had called him “Jackal” she suddenly remembered. - missing comma after "Jackal."

I liked this. It seems different from the rest of the stories that I've read on fictionpress. I wish this had been a little longer, however, because I only got to see a glimpse of the real, plottier story. I'm curious about this "Black Wolf" gang - they all seem to have the same characteristics: Wolf-like eyes, malicious grins, gentle touches. Seeing that it's a romance, I'd be interested to find out who she will become involved with, Jackal or the ring leader. Anyway, this is intriguing, so I'll keep reading once you continue to update.

-McQuinn
3/19/2006 c1 Ali
AH! what happens? oh!
3/3/2006 c1 2Rose-Rayne
WHERE IS THE REST? You so don't end a chapter there! LOL. Don't mind me I need anger managment.

This is good. Really good. I hope you update soon.

The E-Queen,^.~ Rae
3/1/2006 c1 9SolisLuna
Very interesting so far! Plz update soon so i know what happens!
3/1/2006 c1 kjnhgtfrdefgh
Hmm, this looks very interesting.
3/1/2006 c1 A Beautiful Nightmare
Hello. Yay! I'm the first to review! This is such an awesome story. You had a bit of mistakes, probably due to haste or weariness but overall it was great! Nothing major to correct. From a rating of 1-10, I would say it was a 9 because of the minor mistakes. Woohoo! Keep it up! I'll be reading more of your future works!
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