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5/18/2006 c9 2cbprice25
I like it. Keep writing!
5/17/2006 c9 mo
they kissed! though don't know what to make of it, plz update, i so wana see how it changes their interaction!
5/17/2006 c8 1benevolence
You're a really good writer. Great job on this story. It's really interesting. Update soon!
5/16/2006 c8 2Danica Blake
Great story/plot and absolutely awesome characters. Luke and Victoria are really well written-funny, witty, biting and somehow charming.

Lovely!

Danica
5/16/2006 c8 4dotcult
a little slow and uneventful, but it held some purpose. i just hope that you have a good plan for luke. he did something that intimates he's got a surefire plan, which will surely fall in front of the "unexpected" save by his friend Brad. dont let that happen. the luke you've created thus far would see that coming. he can read brea + vicky. please remember that as you write this next chapter. and oh yeah, write on!
5/16/2006 c8 22groovacious
Wow, you're such a great writer. Keep up the good work, it was kinda short, but whatever. Can't wait for your next chapter.
5/16/2006 c8 mo
lol ah i think Luke dearest is bit jealous, loving this, plz update!
5/16/2006 c8 happyeverafter
Interesting. I'm lloking forward to the next chapter
5/16/2006 c8 5Mrdarcylover
I thought this chapter was great, update soon!
5/14/2006 c7 carma627
i like it. you're great! thanks for writing
5/14/2006 c7 mo
just found this, and I LOVE IT! so different and your writing of the banters between victoria and luke rocks!
5/5/2006 c6 Mrdarcylover
I liked this chapter, update soon.
5/5/2006 c6 4dotcult
this is my favorite chapter so far. something about this is so much more real than the others. i can't put my finger on the specifics, but i really like whatever the difference is. good job! i'm loving this. a very real feel to it.
5/1/2006 c1 Desultory
I liked the old summary better as well.

I really enjoy your writing. Not just plot-wise, but the actual technical aspect of it. I am jealous of your sentences. Your adjectives, adverbs...they're all so fresh. I'm reading them [your sentences] over and over again. Hopefully I'll be able to use what I glean. Shamless and ashamed. A solution in some conviction. I love the rhyming scheme.

But I am getting annoyed by the constant references to Ayn Rand.

And, for the first part of chapter five (when writing about Madison) the writing gets very repetitive. You impart nothing that is concrete. All I saw for about three paragraphs was equivocation. If there is some profound meaning in the words I didn't recognize, then I suppose I'm wrong and dont' know how to analyze literature or whatnot. But unlike with your descriptions of Madison in he first chapter, or your descriptions of Luke and Vicky, the Madison description here was just confusing and abstract.

I see you are an Ayn Rand fan... I overlooked the mention of Rand in "The Parquet" ...though I personally think Rand is stupid and can't abide her shallow pop-philosophy, -'pop': ironic, isn't it?-, I will try not to let that affect my judgement of your story.

Haha, who am I kidding, I'm highly biased and I know this.

I can't (didn't even think of) ask you to leave allus\ons to Rand out, because it has presumably influenced you and elicited enough admiration so that you would include it in this story (and The Parquet).

I just brought up Rand because I think it is (now) a majot reason for my dislike of Madison. (yes, something concrete) Vicky, of course, is easy to empathize with. Madison, on the other hand, seems like a deluded psuedo-something... eh, I'm sorry if I'm being incoherent. I know I've made a lot of typos because I am literaly half asleep. Err.. Schopenhaeur has a point: reading sometimes does make people more stupid. And sorry if my thoughts seem disconnected. I am disconnected

I admire Pulitzer too, and especially Hearst. Brilliant opportunists.
4/26/2006 c5 3chocolatemusic
This chapter was much too short!

I love how you described Victoria hating that her literature class loved Eliot as much as she did... I've had moments when I've felt the same way... before another part of me slaps me and tells me to get over myself. But I totally understand the sentiment.

The shift in point of view in the middle of the chapter caused me a brief moment of confusion, although I caught on soon enough. You might want to consider labelling it, or, if broadcasting it out isn't your thing, leaving a bit more space between the paragraphs where it switches. Just a thought.

Anyway, keep writing!

cm
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