for Four Year One Month And One Day3/9/2006 c1 
51tdawgcars
Wow, very nice poem. I can deffinetly tell it came from the heart. I feel bad for you that you've been in foster care that long, but atleast you've got good freinds to help you through it. Well anyways, I really do like this poem. Very well writen, and I love the last line "But what we have, you can't have undone" I think that just ties it all together. Well, I think this is one of my longest reviews every. Lol. Nice job on the poem (for the third time)
BRANDON
51tdawgcarsWow, very nice poem. I can deffinetly tell it came from the heart. I feel bad for you that you've been in foster care that long, but atleast you've got good freinds to help you through it. Well anyways, I really do like this poem. Very well writen, and I love the last line "But what we have, you can't have undone" I think that just ties it all together. Well, I think this is one of my longest reviews every. Lol. Nice job on the poem (for the third time)
BRANDON
3/8/2006 c1 15Kella Trams
This subject is obviously very close to your heart and you write it very tenderly and well. The rhyme scheme is a little inconsistent, but you might have wanted it that way.
This is my favorite part:"Four years one month and one day/My fathers paid for a daughter he can’t see/And each dollar is repaid with scars upon me"
I like that you separate each stanza with a line. I kinda shows that you are trying to organize your thoughts because of your confusion or something.
I think if you did a little work on the rhyming, like either making it more consistent or seeing if you could avoid stuff like "But with my forgiveness can fade" where you phrase things in a way you wouldn't normally, just so it'll rhyme, this could be really good.
15Kella TramsThis subject is obviously very close to your heart and you write it very tenderly and well. The rhyme scheme is a little inconsistent, but you might have wanted it that way.
This is my favorite part:"Four years one month and one day/My fathers paid for a daughter he can’t see/And each dollar is repaid with scars upon me"
I like that you separate each stanza with a line. I kinda shows that you are trying to organize your thoughts because of your confusion or something.
I think if you did a little work on the rhyming, like either making it more consistent or seeing if you could avoid stuff like "But with my forgiveness can fade" where you phrase things in a way you wouldn't normally, just so it'll rhyme, this could be really good.
3/8/2006 c1 81Princess-anna57
Wow. I can actually relate to this indirectly. Somehow! :( A well written poem. I admire you for sharing this! Keep writing!
~Anna~
81Princess-anna57Wow. I can actually relate to this indirectly. Somehow! :( A well written poem. I admire you for sharing this! Keep writing!
~Anna~
3/8/2006 c1 858Anna178
Hey. I'm glad you managed to write about yourself, I think its good for people to express themselves somehow creatively. lol, god I sound retarded. There's nothing I can say that I haven't said before, and nothing that you coudn't predeict I would because we've known each other so long. And regardless of whats been done its hard not to love your parents sometimes. I can really relate to that with my mom. And there's always two sides, there's something good and bad.
ANNA
858Anna178Hey. I'm glad you managed to write about yourself, I think its good for people to express themselves somehow creatively. lol, god I sound retarded. There's nothing I can say that I haven't said before, and nothing that you coudn't predeict I would because we've known each other so long. And regardless of whats been done its hard not to love your parents sometimes. I can really relate to that with my mom. And there's always two sides, there's something good and bad.
ANNA