for wishing5/2/2006 c1 Martin Peterson
Hallucinations, the addiction to love (oh dear, I've now got that song in my head), buts the risk of over analysis. A good one, though the second line of the second stanza doesn't seem to read right. The grammar's not quite right, but not sure what effect changing it would have on the poem.
Matt
Hallucinations, the addiction to love (oh dear, I've now got that song in my head), buts the risk of over analysis. A good one, though the second line of the second stanza doesn't seem to read right. The grammar's not quite right, but not sure what effect changing it would have on the poem.
Matt
4/28/2006 c1 
871no.peace.los.angeles
Oh, I love that second haiku there. Especially the last line, what a great image. Nice. Keep writing! :)
871no.peace.los.angelesOh, I love that second haiku there. Especially the last line, what a great image. Nice. Keep writing! :)
3/18/2006 c1 73Jezsh
I like the tone you've used - like you WILL. The image of smoke running through it is really evocative. Very pretty.
73JezshI like the tone you've used - like you WILL. The image of smoke running through it is really evocative. Very pretty.
3/12/2006 c1 243Manuel Fajar
Love's,—hormone stronger,
Than nicotine could ever,
Bind to red blood's heart.
Love's wild profusion,
Leaves mind in dazed confusion,
Hoping for fusion.
Strongest addiction,
Without thought's benediction,—
Heart's fond illusion.
For this,—&, no more,
Did life create split sexes,
To cast on heart wild hexes,
That clear mind vexes;
&, everything perplexes.
243Manuel FajarLove's,—hormone stronger,
Than nicotine could ever,
Bind to red blood's heart.
Love's wild profusion,
Leaves mind in dazed confusion,
Hoping for fusion.
Strongest addiction,
Without thought's benediction,—
Heart's fond illusion.
For this,—&, no more,
Did life create split sexes,
To cast on heart wild hexes,
That clear mind vexes;
&, everything perplexes.