for Oedipus Baby10/23/2006 c2 
12elisefey
I am absolutely enthralled. Really, truly, which is why I didn't review the first chapter: I couldn't think of anything to say that would do it justice. It's such an amazing twist on the Greek tragedy and epic poem form of writing and it's downright brilliant. Really. Yet another one of your works that's going in my C2 (I love this whole new C2 business!). Anyway, my only critique for this... uh... "chapter" or whatever, is the formatting on the ending 'Oedipus'. Having the periods go all the way across the screen like that is somehow distracting. It looks like an error, or possibly sloppy and I kept focusing on that when I think a simpler formatting of just the name 'Oedipus' repeated without so much punctuation would have given me chills... much like the rest of the work, which is indeed that powerful.
Right. So I'm done babbling for now and hope to come back and finish this soon!
12elisefeyI am absolutely enthralled. Really, truly, which is why I didn't review the first chapter: I couldn't think of anything to say that would do it justice. It's such an amazing twist on the Greek tragedy and epic poem form of writing and it's downright brilliant. Really. Yet another one of your works that's going in my C2 (I love this whole new C2 business!). Anyway, my only critique for this... uh... "chapter" or whatever, is the formatting on the ending 'Oedipus'. Having the periods go all the way across the screen like that is somehow distracting. It looks like an error, or possibly sloppy and I kept focusing on that when I think a simpler formatting of just the name 'Oedipus' repeated without so much punctuation would have given me chills... much like the rest of the work, which is indeed that powerful.
Right. So I'm done babbling for now and hope to come back and finish this soon!
8/3/2006 c2 90poetic abortion
I love it; fiction turned prose and a myth made even more poeticly haunting with your words.
The ending stanze - "She turns to him . . ." and on until you his the third Oedipus - is haunting and beautiful and just chills me to no end.
I'm faving this, not only to read it as much as I can but because it is just too amazing *not* to have on it.
~* Noelle
90poetic abortionI love it; fiction turned prose and a myth made even more poeticly haunting with your words.
The ending stanze - "She turns to him . . ." and on until you his the third Oedipus - is haunting and beautiful and just chills me to no end.
I'm faving this, not only to read it as much as I can but because it is just too amazing *not* to have on it.
~* Noelle
8/3/2006 c1 poetic abortion
It's superb.
I have a huge kink for mythology, which may explain a lot of the themes in my poetry, but this made me want to hide in shame for it all; this made me feel so much lack of emotion that I was scarcly aware of how to describe this.
It's beautiful, yes; powerful, yes; gorgeous in every sense of the world; and yet I can not will myself to say the words I want to. It hurts to see something so ugly as the tale is - especially since Oedipus, for me, never really correlated the myth but the complex - and make it beautiful.
I think envious can fit how I feel but utter and complete astonishment by the beauty of it makes me think otherwise.
~* Noelle
It's superb.
I have a huge kink for mythology, which may explain a lot of the themes in my poetry, but this made me want to hide in shame for it all; this made me feel so much lack of emotion that I was scarcly aware of how to describe this.
It's beautiful, yes; powerful, yes; gorgeous in every sense of the world; and yet I can not will myself to say the words I want to. It hurts to see something so ugly as the tale is - especially since Oedipus, for me, never really correlated the myth but the complex - and make it beautiful.
I think envious can fit how I feel but utter and complete astonishment by the beauty of it makes me think otherwise.
~* Noelle
4/27/2006 c1 829Anaare
I'm really impressed by this collection. Your word use is great, the content is awesome. Just excellent work!
829AnaareI'm really impressed by this collection. Your word use is great, the content is awesome. Just excellent work!
4/17/2006 c7 1rrmehta364
Well, greatto be caught up. Oedipus was never one of my favorite myths (a little too creepy for my tastes) but I really enjoyed what I read.
Oh, and sorry for not being able to give any real criticism.
-peace out.
1rrmehta364Well, greatto be caught up. Oedipus was never one of my favorite myths (a little too creepy for my tastes) but I really enjoyed what I read.
Oh, and sorry for not being able to give any real criticism.
-peace out.
4/17/2006 c6 rrmehta364
"The Fates dance over their creationLight-headed with powerAnd laugh in the face of their mischief" : great lines.
"The world screams ¡Incest!" : what's with the upside down exclamation point. And how do you do that anyways.
-peace out.
"
"The Fates dance over their creationLight-headed with powerAnd laugh in the face of their mischief" : great lines.
"The world screams ¡Incest!" : what's with the upside down exclamation point. And how do you do that anyways.
-peace out.
"
4/17/2006 c4 rrmehta364
The riddle of the sphynx. I remember that one.
Well, great chapter and as always looking forward to reading more.
The riddle of the sphynx. I remember that one.
Well, great chapter and as always looking forward to reading more.
4/17/2006 c3 rrmehta364
"I cannot return there.I will not have any part in such a destinyI will inflict myself upon them no longerI will turn to the mountains" : I liked those lines.
"(The scars will be hidden later, when regret sets inBut for now all is ruled by despair)" : ooh, and these were pretty too. Very good.
Kind of hard to do Oedipipus without angst though.
-peace out.
"I cannot return there.I will not have any part in such a destinyI will inflict myself upon them no longerI will turn to the mountains" : I liked those lines.
"(The scars will be hidden later, when regret sets inBut for now all is ruled by despair)" : ooh, and these were pretty too. Very good.
Kind of hard to do Oedipipus without angst though.
-peace out.
4/17/2006 c2 rrmehta364
"A thin cry pierces the dawn,Feeble but plaintive,Chilling the hearts of all" : I liked those lines a lot for some reason.
"Firelight flickering on his worn faceand dark twinkling eyes." : some more lines that caught my fancy.
Well, actually everything that was written did, so great job and looking forward to reading more.
"A thin cry pierces the dawn,Feeble but plaintive,Chilling the hearts of all" : I liked those lines a lot for some reason.
"Firelight flickering on his worn faceand dark twinkling eyes." : some more lines that caught my fancy.
Well, actually everything that was written did, so great job and looking forward to reading more.
4/17/2006 c1 rrmehta364
Well, Oedipis is a rather disgusting story I must say. Very interesting though. I'm not much help with poetry, so I think all I really have to say is that this is wonderful
-peace out.
Well, Oedipis is a rather disgusting story I must say. Very interesting though. I'm not much help with poetry, so I think all I really have to say is that this is wonderful
-peace out.
3/26/2006 c2 11LEDlorien7
wow. wow. i wow can't wow think wow of wow anything wow else wow to wow say wow. hehehe sorry about that. as you can see i'm wowed. thestyle in this chapter, describing the day's awakening and the mutilation of baby Oedipus was very powerful.
11LEDlorien7wow. wow. i wow can't wow think wow of wow anything wow else wow to wow say wow. hehehe sorry about that. as you can see i'm wowed. thestyle in this chapter, describing the day's awakening and the mutilation of baby Oedipus was very powerful.
3/26/2006 c1 LEDlorien7
whoa. cool. i love how you tell the story in poetry with the characters thoughts intertwined with the story.
whoa. cool. i love how you tell the story in poetry with the characters thoughts intertwined with the story.
3/18/2006 c1 9Rachel Peterson
Beautiful! I don't know what I was expecting, but it really threw me off guard, and I like it. The beginning piece, with the "he is too far gone" and the verse about the Three Gates was really great.
9Rachel PetersonBeautiful! I don't know what I was expecting, but it really threw me off guard, and I like it. The beginning piece, with the "he is too far gone" and the verse about the Three Gates was really great.
3/14/2006 c7 19Rhea Valente
no ... she hung herself... then he killed himself..
wow.
the fates were written awesomly, too:
"Is stirred into their moments ofDark closenessFlame-flickeredEver-taintedLove
OedipusOedipusOedipus…whisper the Fates, and giggle,their teasing fingertips and lips caressingtheir creation,loving it to despairtheir progeny,their masterpiece,beautiful in its devastation"
Thats really, really, really awesome writing. Seriously.
WOW. I LOVED this, really. I've never read anything quite like it. It's. .. just so great!
I love the way you laid it out. At first (though primarily because i knew nothing about it) it was kinda confusing, but... no... it suits it perfectly. And i love the way you wrote "the fates." yeh - my fav part... because ... they were distant ... but .. still there. LOVED THIS.
Goin on favs. Without a doubt.
19Rhea Valenteno ... she hung herself... then he killed himself..
wow.
the fates were written awesomly, too:
"Is stirred into their moments ofDark closenessFlame-flickeredEver-taintedLove
OedipusOedipusOedipus…whisper the Fates, and giggle,their teasing fingertips and lips caressingtheir creation,loving it to despairtheir progeny,their masterpiece,beautiful in its devastation"
Thats really, really, really awesome writing. Seriously.
WOW. I LOVED this, really. I've never read anything quite like it. It's. .. just so great!
I love the way you laid it out. At first (though primarily because i knew nothing about it) it was kinda confusing, but... no... it suits it perfectly. And i love the way you wrote "the fates." yeh - my fav part... because ... they were distant ... but .. still there. LOVED THIS.
Goin on favs. Without a doubt.