for Oedipus Baby3/10/2006 c4 Broken Melody
Whoa... It was by mistake then? A insane poor misrey striken boy? He did as he not not want, to kill his parents! I suppose the boy only answers to his adopted parents and the Gods?
Whoa... It was by mistake then? A insane poor misrey striken boy? He did as he not not want, to kill his parents! I suppose the boy only answers to his adopted parents and the Gods?
3/10/2006 c3 Broken Melody
So he turns to the oracle? Um... Something of his own? His own life? Um...
I LOVE THIS!
Could you make each chapter a bit longer?
Oh, I think you may have read my mind as I typed a few chapters ago! I think I had suggested the periods and the capitals... I suppose you did that. Well good then.
This is so good!
So he turns to the oracle? Um... Something of his own? His own life? Um...
I LOVE THIS!
Could you make each chapter a bit longer?
Oh, I think you may have read my mind as I typed a few chapters ago! I think I had suggested the periods and the capitals... I suppose you did that. Well good then.
This is so good!
3/10/2006 c2 Broken Melody
So then the child is to begin the profocy? Probably because of the hatred...
So he was abandoned because of a frieghtened king and his wish in anguish? Does the servant raise? That seems to be how it has appeared to me. Very swell, this is!
I'm kind of confused of your poetry style for this lovely story. I think I will get used to it. I just don't totally understand the bracket style though. So in not the brackets are you expressing the atmosphere and then in the brackets are you expressing the thing that happens with the babe, the King and the Queen?
It is great!
I think that maybe you could consider making a capital at each sentence and then or verse and when it ends a period.
So then the child is to begin the profocy? Probably because of the hatred...
So he was abandoned because of a frieghtened king and his wish in anguish? Does the servant raise? That seems to be how it has appeared to me. Very swell, this is!
I'm kind of confused of your poetry style for this lovely story. I think I will get used to it. I just don't totally understand the bracket style though. So in not the brackets are you expressing the atmosphere and then in the brackets are you expressing the thing that happens with the babe, the King and the Queen?
It is great!
I think that maybe you could consider making a capital at each sentence and then or verse and when it ends a period.
3/10/2006 c1 Broken Melody
WOW... I really like this. Is this a poem novel? Where each chapter is written in poetry? YES! It IS! YAY!
I think at the end of each verse there should be a period.
'King Laios stumbles to his feet and backs awayvision blurred and ears ringingand the flames flicker and dance(pleading, calling, praying)before his disbelieving eyes"."'
That is how I do poetry anyway. I think it is right but I also think you should decide since the work is yours.
So he is seeing what has been told to him by seers as he is having sex with his wife, drunk? A good story, I love it already. I really do like this concept.
He dies by his child's hand? Also the seer does not know when this babe is to be born, such mystery!
I still think when a poetic sentence is done, however long or how many lines the verse... it should end with a period.
WOW... I really like this. Is this a poem novel? Where each chapter is written in poetry? YES! It IS! YAY!
I think at the end of each verse there should be a period.
'King Laios stumbles to his feet and backs awayvision blurred and ears ringingand the flames flicker and dance(pleading, calling, praying)before his disbelieving eyes"."'
That is how I do poetry anyway. I think it is right but I also think you should decide since the work is yours.
So he is seeing what has been told to him by seers as he is having sex with his wife, drunk? A good story, I love it already. I really do like this concept.
He dies by his child's hand? Also the seer does not know when this babe is to be born, such mystery!
I still think when a poetic sentence is done, however long or how many lines the verse... it should end with a period.
3/10/2006 c7 Dina
This is amazing.Im in awe.The story is wonderful.The way it is written is enchanting.It's so beautifully passionate.I absolutely love it.
This is amazing.Im in awe.The story is wonderful.The way it is written is enchanting.It's so beautifully passionate.I absolutely love it.
3/10/2006 c7 
220Namir Swiftpaw
Your poem makes me want to burn everything I have written and then bury it so deep no one will ever see it again.
This is superb. I really don't know what else to say.
~Namir Swiftpaw
220Namir SwiftpawYour poem makes me want to burn everything I have written and then bury it so deep no one will ever see it again.
This is superb. I really don't know what else to say.
~Namir Swiftpaw