for I JUST WANT A CHEESEBURGER5/31/2006 c1 
25John Enverga
This is a pretty good short. I liked the concept. since it was one that many could relate to.
25John EnvergaThis is a pretty good short. I liked the concept. since it was one that many could relate to.
3/20/2006 c1 87R.J. Crosbie
hi, lizzy, it's lee.
you NEED to watch your punctuation. it's kinda' getting on my nerves. for instance, when your brother said "Ma, can i get a Big Mac Meal?" and then you put your mom's quote in the same paragraph! remember a new quote starts a new paragraph! anyways...
i really liked this story. it was funny 'cause you made your mom so neurotic and the way she said "thankyou jesus" when she finally found her money. and then went hysterical when she was charged like what, 20 cents? ha ha! good story. and i also liked the ending. at the beginning, you said you wanted a cheesburger and sprite, then went down to a cheesburger and water! then you couldn't have that, so you were reduced to a cheesburger (only you didn't get it anyway) because that's what's most important. good job! keep writing!
87R.J. Crosbiehi, lizzy, it's lee.
you NEED to watch your punctuation. it's kinda' getting on my nerves. for instance, when your brother said "Ma, can i get a Big Mac Meal?" and then you put your mom's quote in the same paragraph! remember a new quote starts a new paragraph! anyways...
i really liked this story. it was funny 'cause you made your mom so neurotic and the way she said "thankyou jesus" when she finally found her money. and then went hysterical when she was charged like what, 20 cents? ha ha! good story. and i also liked the ending. at the beginning, you said you wanted a cheesburger and sprite, then went down to a cheesburger and water! then you couldn't have that, so you were reduced to a cheesburger (only you didn't get it anyway) because that's what's most important. good job! keep writing!
3/14/2006 c1 132OneLastEndeavor
Hehe, my dad is like that. Has to make a big fuss out of every little thing. "it's thirty cents dad, do we have to walk all the way back to Home Depot for a thirty cent discount?" Argh. I can relate.
132OneLastEndeavorHehe, my dad is like that. Has to make a big fuss out of every little thing. "it's thirty cents dad, do we have to walk all the way back to Home Depot for a thirty cent discount?" Argh. I can relate.