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for The Ancients

5/20/2007 c1 49The Reverse Edge Blade
I really enjoyed reading this! You have a gift for rhyming! Also, your length was nice! You're good at making it not seem drabbleish. I don't see why you say you're not good at poetry.

The Reverse Edge Blade
3/22/2007 c1 Kayla
The only word i can think of to describe this wothout making a super long review would be...

4/30/2006 c1 17Chuggur
It sounds excellent, except for a few rough spots...

Or worthy, just KingsWe’ve seen their Golden RulesA symbol, a memory

The middle line there doesn't fit the format. Try something like "Who have Golden Rules" or "With their Golden Rules."

Only wise men and prophetsOur winding paths knew

The "s" on the end of paths almost adds an extra syllable. Try taking it off.

Unchanging, unspeakingEchoes of the pastAncient sorrows lost

Again, the middle line here is one syllable off. Try taking out "the" or "of" or changing it altogether.

Hallowed one returningIn blood crimson of the dawnIn cathedral of the forest

One syllable too long in the middle again. Try taking out "the."

Besides minor structural stuff like that, it's an exceptional poem. Very nice and, yes, it does not drip angst and drama. ;-)Very nice.

PS: If you can find the time to spare, I'd appreciate your comments on my current work, The Sand Drake. I've seen some of your reviews, and they seem well-thought-out and full of solid, useful suggestions.
4/12/2006 c1 14Queerest
Awesomeness. I haven't been on for so long that I never realized that you had added something. I like your wording. It really flows. It brings a nice story instead of some of the meaningless dribble people throw out there. Thank you for not making me want to kill myself. I wish I could steal it and turn it in as one of my English assignments (which is what I'm supposed to be doing right now. I'll just say I'm getting insperation. I wish I could right like you instead of that crap I vomit out of the hell hole of the earth. lol. Have fun. Keep on writing chicka!
3/28/2006 c1 FairyofFaith
OMG I love this poem! very nicely done.
3/14/2006 c1 21EnemyWithin
I actually really liked this, it had good tempo and good rhythm. Nice word choice as well, try writing poetry more often.
3/14/2006 c1 5Drops of Jewpiter
great poem. i love your writing style. good job :)~dropsofjewpiter~

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