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10/30/2020 c48 Guest
Apparently all of this "June Ashley's" books are stolen. DO NOT READ ANY OF "HER" BOOKS!
10/30/2020 c48 Guest
I'm afraid this "June Ashley" still has "her" book listed on Amazon. This obviously makes me furious because this is an original work. She in no way deserves credit for this book. Don't worry, I'll make sure she regrets plagiarizing this. Mark. My. Words.
10/27/2020 c48 Guest
So, there's like a line between a story made up for fun and a story that is good enough for a book. You crossed that line. This most definitely should be a book. I haven't read the other stories for this series yet, but I'm sure they're also as amazing as this book is. Thank you for this book! It's amazing!
10/24/2019 c1 xchronicles
7/31/2018 c1 A Middling Writer
Wait, isn’t this a Fanfiction, because there is a site for that, made by the same people no less.
11/7/2017 c48 1Eryth
Being a fast reader-and having had the day off from work!-I finished this story within 24 hours of having begun to read it. With such a short time between beginning and end, I was able to pick up on the fact that two characters are named Melina: the witch...and the queen in the portrait who had come from a far-away land mentioned during Alex and Dru's first meeting as twelve-year-olds. If you want to "fix" this, I just wanted to let you know about it. If it was intentional, or if it doesn't matter to you, then that's fine too. Most authors don't repeat names in the same stories, but if you think about the reality of names, it's almost impossible to find someone who doesn't share their name with another! In truth, it's not an issue, but I just wanted to point it out to you in case it would bother you. :)
7/5/2017 c48 Tiny Bullfrog
Goodness, what horrible actions! They took your talent and generosity and-ugh. How awful of them. I wish you luck, and give my thanks for a wonder-filled read.
4/9/2017 c14 5marzmez
Aarg! I'm sorry, but even though I am really enjoying your story there is one thing that continues to bother me. "crowned prince" should be "Crown Prince". Yes capitols because it is a title meaning he is the one next in line for the crown. I know this story was finished long ago, but if you really still do want to implement the changes you asked for, please change this one... In all your stories. I have already read the first one about Helena and came to read this one before I continued and it bugged me there too.
8/9/2016 c16 pleasepetthecat
I think the sentence "the things she held dear to her were taken from her" would be better if you left uit the "to her".
8/9/2016 c10 pleasepetthecat
Alexander mentions in his letter that the temperatures can drop from 80 to 20 in a day. I don't know for certain, but I don't think there was a numerical temperature scale in the time period you are writing about.
8/9/2016 c9 pleasepetthecat
I am just going to continue with my remarks:
You put " It (Dru's happiness about her father's letter) neither dampened when they demanded to see the letter...". "Neither did it dampen when they demanded to see the letter" sounds better, in my opinion.
Also, in the last paragraph: "I would catch a fish tomorrow." would maybe better be replaced with "I would go fishing tomorrow."
8/9/2016 c7 pleasepetthecat
Some more nitpickery ( Is that a word?):
You call the queen "strangely eccentric". It comes across a bit redundant to me, because strange and eccentric mean the same thing.
8/9/2016 c6 pleasepetthecat
I'm really enjoying this story, so please don't take my nitpicking wrongly, but I did notice a few wonky sentences I thought I should tell you about.
I thought the way Alexander wrote "Then, perhaps, we can play another game." was a bit strange. Maybe this is more fitting: "Then, perhaps, you could read some more paintings for me".
Also, in Dru's aswer, there is a sentence you forgot to end: "May the war with Kretin be brief and filled with few deaths I will pray for your safety,..."
In the paragraph following the reply there was also a sentence that was kind of weird: "Or perhaps was it something more?". To me "Or was it perhaps something more?" sounds better.
In the following paragraph: "...: words that I couldn't be certain of their implication" doesn't sound quite right either. I would probably make it "...: words whose implication I couldn't be quite certain of."
5/27/2016 c33 7gulistala
Omg stupid girl now she's really screwed.
5/27/2016 c32 gulistala
Why did he refuse her? Am I missing something?
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