for Or So the Story Goes4/3/2006 c4 
16Trickster's-Lulaby
well this is going well, I always liked the ugly stepsister she had sass. I'm glad the prince isn't such an air head. Please update soon.
16Trickster's-Lulabywell this is going well, I always liked the ugly stepsister she had sass. I'm glad the prince isn't such an air head. Please update soon.
4/3/2006 c4 earlkgm
That's what I meant... plus "it's what's on the inside that counts"... *snort* try telling that to my classmates...lol... sad, but true. Did you pick the name Drusilla on purpose, like is it suppose to mean anything? I'm just asking because I was reading a book and Drusilla was a descended of a few very famous and powerful people. For example, her grandmother was Cleopatra VII and her grandfather was Marc Antony. When Alexander the Great died, one of his generals, Ptoemy I made himself King of Egypt, som he was the great-something- of Cleopatra and Drusilla. Her husband was said to be a govonor too.(some records say, but are not sure) Just a little history fact! LOL...anywho...PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
That's what I meant... plus "it's what's on the inside that counts"... *snort* try telling that to my classmates...lol... sad, but true. Did you pick the name Drusilla on purpose, like is it suppose to mean anything? I'm just asking because I was reading a book and Drusilla was a descended of a few very famous and powerful people. For example, her grandmother was Cleopatra VII and her grandfather was Marc Antony. When Alexander the Great died, one of his generals, Ptoemy I made himself King of Egypt, som he was the great-something- of Cleopatra and Drusilla. Her husband was said to be a govonor too.(some records say, but are not sure) Just a little history fact! LOL...anywho...PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
4/3/2006 c4 Pam Smith
I really like this story. I find it interesting that the main character is so ugly, because you're right: the main character of most stories is beautiful or otherwise special. I think it's nice to have something out of the ordinary every once in a while, and plaese write more. I'm dying to know what happens next.
I really like this story. I find it interesting that the main character is so ugly, because you're right: the main character of most stories is beautiful or otherwise special. I think it's nice to have something out of the ordinary every once in a while, and plaese write more. I'm dying to know what happens next.
3/30/2006 c2 earlkgm
aww! That was such a good begining to probably an awesome story! I loved how you put so much emotion and I could really "feel" how Drusilla was feeling, making it even better! She can't be that ugly, can she? In my imagination she's pretty but looks ugly because she doesn't take care of herdelf and has raggy cloths, making her look more ugly. Oh well, that just my imagination...PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
aww! That was such a good begining to probably an awesome story! I loved how you put so much emotion and I could really "feel" how Drusilla was feeling, making it even better! She can't be that ugly, can she? In my imagination she's pretty but looks ugly because she doesn't take care of herdelf and has raggy cloths, making her look more ugly. Oh well, that just my imagination...PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
3/30/2006 c2 2The Light of Earendil
Oh, this concept is REALLY interesting- she's the Cinderella character who does all the work, and her new step sister is "Cindy..." hehe yeah... But I really like your story idea, it should be interesting. It's really dark in the beginning and I hope you'll add a little comic relief later- you're awesome at that. And I really love the fact that your main character isn't gorgeous. The typical heroine is beautiful and perfect looking but she's not.
"Because the house was becoming more and more bare, there was less to clean. Because mother was entertaining guests less and less of the time until she stopped altogether, it was easier to keep the house to her standards. Because there were only four people to feed, it was easier to cook. Thus, I had more time for myself, and I was able to read quietly in the study, a place not yet collected on because mother had forgotten about it, before my lessons with Nanny."
You used four "because"s in that paragraph.
The writing is a bit choppy so far, like you haven't had time to edit. Other than that, good job, I look forward to more and to see how this develops :)
2The Light of EarendilOh, this concept is REALLY interesting- she's the Cinderella character who does all the work, and her new step sister is "Cindy..." hehe yeah... But I really like your story idea, it should be interesting. It's really dark in the beginning and I hope you'll add a little comic relief later- you're awesome at that. And I really love the fact that your main character isn't gorgeous. The typical heroine is beautiful and perfect looking but she's not.
"Because the house was becoming more and more bare, there was less to clean. Because mother was entertaining guests less and less of the time until she stopped altogether, it was easier to keep the house to her standards. Because there were only four people to feed, it was easier to cook. Thus, I had more time for myself, and I was able to read quietly in the study, a place not yet collected on because mother had forgotten about it, before my lessons with Nanny."
You used four "because"s in that paragraph.
The writing is a bit choppy so far, like you haven't had time to edit. Other than that, good job, I look forward to more and to see how this develops :)
3/30/2006 c2 4Jiva
You have a good start I think. I love twisted fairytales(I'm currently twisting the little mermaid)! Anyways like I said really great start, I'm fascinated. Some of the writing gets a little confusing cause I think maybe the tenses (past, present, future) get mixed around a little but nothing major. I always find it really helpful to read everything I wrote out loud and really listen to how the words flow so there aren't many rough spots, it's also really helps with catching grammar mistakes (of which I didn't see many!(Grammar mistakes I mean)So Go you!) So fantabulous start, I look forward to more! Update soon!**Jiva**
4JivaYou have a good start I think. I love twisted fairytales(I'm currently twisting the little mermaid)! Anyways like I said really great start, I'm fascinated. Some of the writing gets a little confusing cause I think maybe the tenses (past, present, future) get mixed around a little but nothing major. I always find it really helpful to read everything I wrote out loud and really listen to how the words flow so there aren't many rough spots, it's also really helps with catching grammar mistakes (of which I didn't see many!(Grammar mistakes I mean)So Go you!) So fantabulous start, I look forward to more! Update soon!**Jiva**