Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Cold

1/25/2007 c1 4rurouniagra
Hey beautiful! Look who got an account!

I really like the begining. I love the imagery. I don't know how literally it is; I love it just the same.

yay for venting emotions! I love you!
11/17/2006 c1 Minikin Tiki Blue
Sweet! I've just remembered i do in fact have an account iwth fictionpress. Havent updated it for a few years, but eh, w/e.

so poem... jeez do you have a lot. i just reviewed the first one, since i'm running short on time. i'll read a couple more when i go home this weekend! lol.

this poem is quite intense... it doesnt really beat around the bush, gets right down to the sheer matter of fact, your furious and hurt. a couple times it starts to seem more like random venting than poetry. you have to make sure there is a distiction. also, i noticed you use a lot of exclamation points. while these are always good, you use them so many times, it depletes from the actual power of the words. try mixing up the punctuation a little for a different effect... italics are also something that could make it pop a little more.

single word finish. love it!

i think some imagery would be appropriate in this poem, just to give the reader a lingering picutre to hold on to for the duration of the poem. im not sure what, maybe somehting with a window... i dont know, your the poet. im just rambling. lol.

tell me which poems you want me to review more, and i'll do those right away. if not, im just going to start randomly picking and choosing. :-D have an awesome weekend... I'M SEEING TSO!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service