for Cheese, Crackers, Milk, Sandwich5/25/2013 c1 Siri Catriona
... What the... WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THIS? I mean... It's just... So...
It has been confirmed. There is nothing creepier than a creepy child.
... What the... WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THIS? I mean... It's just... So...
It has been confirmed. There is nothing creepier than a creepy child.
5/4/2011 c1 Spoils of a Wasted Life
wow, holy shit, wow...
Very well written, very terrible thing for a child to do.
I loved the closing bit...
...life simplified down to it's most basic form: Cheese, crackers, milk, sandwich.
... I feel like that's the summery of the whole story. The purity of thought of this little eight year old. Simplicity of a child's life. Basic without complications.
Great job with this.
wow, holy shit, wow...
Very well written, very terrible thing for a child to do.
I loved the closing bit...
...life simplified down to it's most basic form: Cheese, crackers, milk, sandwich.
... I feel like that's the summery of the whole story. The purity of thought of this little eight year old. Simplicity of a child's life. Basic without complications.
Great job with this.
3/27/2011 c1 LivinLyfe2TheFullest
... that is one scary girl *shudders* she reminds me of Esther in the movie "Orphan" its really good and freaky :D
... that is one scary girl *shudders* she reminds me of Esther in the movie "Orphan" its really good and freaky :D
2/1/2011 c1 theone
wow... that was excellently written!
wow... that was excellently written!
12/21/2010 c1 
2PotOfGoldXxx
You know, I think this would be a brilliant one shot and a fantastic story. It's brilliantly written and showing the side of our evil little sisters that the parents refuse to knows there:P Just kidding. About the evil little sister thing. But it really is brilliant.
2PotOfGoldXxxYou know, I think this would be a brilliant one shot and a fantastic story. It's brilliantly written and showing the side of our evil little sisters that the parents refuse to knows there:P Just kidding. About the evil little sister thing. But it really is brilliant.
9/1/2010 c1 7Wednesday's Cannibal
Holy shit! This is fucked the fuck up! You have a sick, sick mind, my dear author!
But I like it!
-Laz
7Wednesday's CannibalHoly shit! This is fucked the fuck up! You have a sick, sick mind, my dear author!
But I like it!
-Laz
3/2/2010 c1 BansheePanda
I'm just...not gonna say how much I'm laughing right now. You probably wouldn't believe me. Yes, I have a sick and twisted mind. But this, this is wonderful! I think that's all I can say about this piece. You certainly have a knack for horror.
I'm just...not gonna say how much I'm laughing right now. You probably wouldn't believe me. Yes, I have a sick and twisted mind. But this, this is wonderful! I think that's all I can say about this piece. You certainly have a knack for horror.
10/19/2009 c1 xNevermore and Again
wow...just wow.
I really like this fic, especially how well written and detailed it is. The child's mind really does interest me, and how a young child like her can kill with no problem really doesn't surprise me that much...I can easily imagine it happening.
And does this mean she does this often? the cop seemed to know what was going on, so she kills people out of temper tantrums and her parents know of this?
Just a question, but I love this fic.
wow...just wow.
I really like this fic, especially how well written and detailed it is. The child's mind really does interest me, and how a young child like her can kill with no problem really doesn't surprise me that much...I can easily imagine it happening.
And does this mean she does this often? the cop seemed to know what was going on, so she kills people out of temper tantrums and her parents know of this?
Just a question, but I love this fic.
5/26/2009 c1 17K.M.Mackenzie
Hey, I actually read this a couple days ago and wrote my review down on paper because my mum disconnected the internet on me. So I'll let you have it now instead XD
This is a nicely written piece but I find myself disagreeing with a few things:-
*I love the summary/opening line - it's what garnered my interest - but I find it misleading and slightly disjointed from the rest of the story. This kid, I don't find her particularly ingenious, just a lethal kid with a one-track mind and f*ed-up morals. I sincerely doubt she knew/knows the existence of the fork's 146/7 ways to kill someone.
*Speaking o fwhich, you don't mention the other two ways she used the fork, only the fact that it pierce both victims in the neck and there was a lot of blood. Nice descriptions with the blood though, commendable!
*You keep sliding in and out of this child-like persona. Mak a decision: you are either the fastidious (my word of the day) child-killer Keira or the omniscient narrator - and I'm not talking about slipping between 1st and 3rd, just POV in general. This business of bringing in a more mature analysis of the story and your character's actions makes your character less realistic to me.
*Your reason for having the kid kill is based on a fanatical need for uninterrupted mealtimes. For someone who is driven to homicidal extremities by this obsession, she doesn't actually eat much, does she? I mean, I would think that after she ended the interruptions she'd finish the meal, despite the brief period of complaining about something that was missing on the plate..can't remember what.
*How did the police get involve? They don't just poof into being on the doorstep of a homicidal child - red-blue lights be damned.
You really need to follow through on some of the...erm, settings (for extreme lack of a better term) you've previously mapped out. I feel like you've come up with this great concept, and you're a great writer, but some of your story's quirks are like the one-time twitch instead of a constant nail-biting habit. Sorry about the metaphor, it was the best way I could explain it..
I hope that helps you, I want to see you improve. You probably have if this is an old piece.
17K.M.MackenzieHey, I actually read this a couple days ago and wrote my review down on paper because my mum disconnected the internet on me. So I'll let you have it now instead XD
This is a nicely written piece but I find myself disagreeing with a few things:-
*I love the summary/opening line - it's what garnered my interest - but I find it misleading and slightly disjointed from the rest of the story. This kid, I don't find her particularly ingenious, just a lethal kid with a one-track mind and f*ed-up morals. I sincerely doubt she knew/knows the existence of the fork's 146/7 ways to kill someone.
*Speaking o fwhich, you don't mention the other two ways she used the fork, only the fact that it pierce both victims in the neck and there was a lot of blood. Nice descriptions with the blood though, commendable!
*You keep sliding in and out of this child-like persona. Mak a decision: you are either the fastidious (my word of the day) child-killer Keira or the omniscient narrator - and I'm not talking about slipping between 1st and 3rd, just POV in general. This business of bringing in a more mature analysis of the story and your character's actions makes your character less realistic to me.
*Your reason for having the kid kill is based on a fanatical need for uninterrupted mealtimes. For someone who is driven to homicidal extremities by this obsession, she doesn't actually eat much, does she? I mean, I would think that after she ended the interruptions she'd finish the meal, despite the brief period of complaining about something that was missing on the plate..can't remember what.
*How did the police get involve? They don't just poof into being on the doorstep of a homicidal child - red-blue lights be damned.
You really need to follow through on some of the...erm, settings (for extreme lack of a better term) you've previously mapped out. I feel like you've come up with this great concept, and you're a great writer, but some of your story's quirks are like the one-time twitch instead of a constant nail-biting habit. Sorry about the metaphor, it was the best way I could explain it..
I hope that helps you, I want to see you improve. You probably have if this is an old piece.
4/22/2009 c1 Sir Pebbles
Whoa. This was /really/ well written! Honestly! The writing style used is incredible. Interesting, and made me wonder what the story behind the girl is. (She's got issues. Bahaha - I blame the parents.) And oh noes! Not the police officer! *gasp!*
I don't know why, but I liked this bit: "Taken down by a hungry, eight year old girl, a dress-wearing hooligan who couldn’t tell the difference between smooth peanut-butter and French’s mustard. Un-befucking-lievable." Just thought it was funny. o.O
I guess there's a lesson to be learned here:
Never interupt a little kid's lunch! =P
Anyways, congrats on this really good (and somewhat disturbing) story!
Whoa. This was /really/ well written! Honestly! The writing style used is incredible. Interesting, and made me wonder what the story behind the girl is. (She's got issues. Bahaha - I blame the parents.) And oh noes! Not the police officer! *gasp!*
I don't know why, but I liked this bit: "Taken down by a hungry, eight year old girl, a dress-wearing hooligan who couldn’t tell the difference between smooth peanut-butter and French’s mustard. Un-befucking-lievable." Just thought it was funny. o.O
I guess there's a lesson to be learned here:
Never interupt a little kid's lunch! =P
Anyways, congrats on this really good (and somewhat disturbing) story!
3/24/2009 c1 2poppiesinoctober
this was really good.
i liked the perspective, it was edited really well, and i just really enjoyed the horror behind it.
:)
2poppiesinoctoberthis was really good.
i liked the perspective, it was edited really well, and i just really enjoyed the horror behind it.
:)