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for Hyena

8/24/2008 c1 Angelic Hellraiser
I like her already!
10/16/2007 c1 luv me like no other
this sounds so good and tempting. I like the last two lines of the first stanza, it made me sorta laugh (weird me?) and i like your endings, with the last two lines in each stanza in parenthesis and the italics.
7/4/2006 c1 31none of burt's beeswax
ouch. i like it. it's so true that people ignore pleas for help. anyway, great topic with a fabulous, pin-pricking way of writing. (does the pin-pricking make sense? like pins in the skin...it just feels like that. sorry that i'm not more articulate).
5/22/2006 c1 1Butthead
egad, girl. you are crazy.HahahahahahahahBut i liked it.I did, I did.:))

This girl skurrs me. I hope she isnt anyone you know.

Sweet and short. Good job, cracker.
4/9/2006 c1 dancingintherain
intriguing...especially in light of summary
4/7/2006 c1 toxic-noodle725
oo. this hyena grl sounds...scary.well i liked the poem. its short but says a lot! i loved the way u ended it. the last line's my favorite! keep writing!
4/3/2006 c1 mocha
i like this one; it's very feral.
4/3/2006 c1 70elvenstorm
Oh just love the last few lines! The ideas an excellent one and like how it isn't a cliche, very original. The repetition is well used, doesn't get boring at all. Such a clever piece, good work.
4/3/2006 c1 9Named Gene
Favorite line(s):

"she says 'please stop'but she’s the one on top"

Simple and not so sweet.

Least favorite line:

"escaping her soul"

A bit wishy washy.


I've no penchant for rhyming but it effectively emphasizes here. Great general feel. Only critiques: 1) "Displayed" isn't such a great word, especially in short poems where word choice is everything. It's pretty passive and doesn't give the reader a lot of imagery to work with. Other words could be painted, stitched...

Anyway, loved it as a whole. :)

- Tammy

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