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for Pawel Path

5/23/2006 c1 11Marcus William
I kinda like the theme that you're giving, but you really need to edit, little things like spelling errors make it so much more difficult to read, and then the whole thing loses it's flow, keep your flow alive and edit the thing
5/14/2006 c1 29Mad-4-Manga
Four little letters:

EDIT! OR, get a Beta!Your summary sounded interesting, but I got lost halfway through your first paragraph. Even though it sounded mystic and neat, the grammar errors just turned me off.You need to know when to put commas down. And have some way to announce what are 'thoughts,' because elswise is confusing.

You need to spell correctly. It is spelled "flirtashishly" or "flirtasishly" NOT "flirtishly."

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to help you improve.This is just like those drawing lessons I gave you.I told you what you were doing wrong and how to correct it. So, now it's your turn to show initiative and help yourself.

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