for Saturday1/19/2008 c1 
17daughterofmusic
So accurate... I love it! You are so descriptive in your writing...
Keep writing!
~Daughter of Music
17daughterofmusicSo accurate... I love it! You are so descriptive in your writing...
Keep writing!
~Daughter of Music
6/18/2006 c1 4Alihotsy
This had a lazy sort of beauty to it. The words flowed very well together, and gave it a calm and peaceful feel. I loved the metaphor of walls and scrapbooks and the breifly mentioned memories, I think it gave the poem more character which allowed the reader to relate more to the poem. Very well written.
PS: Thanks for reviewing my stuff, I'm new at writing and comments really helped.
4AlihotsyThis had a lazy sort of beauty to it. The words flowed very well together, and gave it a calm and peaceful feel. I loved the metaphor of walls and scrapbooks and the breifly mentioned memories, I think it gave the poem more character which allowed the reader to relate more to the poem. Very well written.
PS: Thanks for reviewing my stuff, I'm new at writing and comments really helped.
6/13/2006 c1 tonicole
i like this one.it talks about howthe simplicityof life isn'tjust there. it's oldand half forgotten...
i like this one.it talks about howthe simplicityof life isn'tjust there. it's oldand half forgotten...
5/30/2006 c1 49Shadow Demoness413
I really liked this one, it was very simple, yet it worked. I love how you conveyed the thoughts and memories in a loving, but not over-emotional way. 'Journal smells like Charlie White/ Its cover smooth and red' I love how you described it there, It just fit perfectly. The tone, I really don't know how to describe it, but it was just seemingly peaceful. I truely enjoyed it.
Thanks for your review, I'm glad you liked my poem. Thanks for your advice about the punctuation, that's always been another of my bad habits :-/ I understand about the no email thingy and I won't bother you about it but I would like to make one request. When I have finished it I plan to go back and fix all the mistakes. Could you leave requests, ideas, corrections, etc. in your reviews that I can use when I revise? I would greatly appreciate it, but no pressure.
Okay, I blabbed way too much there. The poem was beautiful in it's simplicity and was a rare treat for someone who only writes and rarely reads poetry.
49Shadow Demoness413I really liked this one, it was very simple, yet it worked. I love how you conveyed the thoughts and memories in a loving, but not over-emotional way. 'Journal smells like Charlie White/ Its cover smooth and red' I love how you described it there, It just fit perfectly. The tone, I really don't know how to describe it, but it was just seemingly peaceful. I truely enjoyed it.
Thanks for your review, I'm glad you liked my poem. Thanks for your advice about the punctuation, that's always been another of my bad habits :-/ I understand about the no email thingy and I won't bother you about it but I would like to make one request. When I have finished it I plan to go back and fix all the mistakes. Could you leave requests, ideas, corrections, etc. in your reviews that I can use when I revise? I would greatly appreciate it, but no pressure.
Okay, I blabbed way too much there. The poem was beautiful in it's simplicity and was a rare treat for someone who only writes and rarely reads poetry.
5/19/2006 c1 26My New Pen Name
It seems so entirely bleak, like one of those days where you don't want to get out of bed because the skies are cloudy and grey. I don't usually do too well with rhyming poetry, but it doesn't seem forced by you at all. It just flows simply along like it was effortless. Excellent descriptions. . . Nicely done.
26My New Pen NameIt seems so entirely bleak, like one of those days where you don't want to get out of bed because the skies are cloudy and grey. I don't usually do too well with rhyming poetry, but it doesn't seem forced by you at all. It just flows simply along like it was effortless. Excellent descriptions. . . Nicely done.
5/16/2006 c1 87youzi
hmm i think the images chosen in this piece really captured the feeling of a lazy saturday afternoon spent in contemplation and painless observation of everyday objects. The subtle rhyme scheme also made the piece flow really nicely from beginning to end.do keep writing :D
87youzihmm i think the images chosen in this piece really captured the feeling of a lazy saturday afternoon spent in contemplation and painless observation of everyday objects. The subtle rhyme scheme also made the piece flow really nicely from beginning to end.do keep writing :D
5/11/2006 c1 7Alankria
Greetings, Lady of the 201th review!
There's a very tangible atmosphere to this poem, a kind of hazy perception of the room, dust everywhere and memories shifting, not quite certain. As always, you have an excellent way with words. ...And that's about all I can really say. I am truly lousy at commenting on poetry, I'm afraid. *sigh* It did stir up a very strong image in my mind, which means you did your job as a poet well.
Responding: (1) I swear there were two other stories where characters had long lashes. I would find them now but I'm feeling really lazy. (2) The chapter inconsistency bugs me, but in a published book I think that kind of thing is less noticeable. (3) Not there yet with the truth about Trifmara, but don't worry, it shall all be revealed eventually. (4) That fragment you pointed out bugged me a little too when I wrote it, but I couldn't be bothered to deal with it. I'll definitely go back and change it. ... Glad you enjoyed the chapter, despite what happened to James. I'll try to update soon.
7AlankriaGreetings, Lady of the 201th review!
There's a very tangible atmosphere to this poem, a kind of hazy perception of the room, dust everywhere and memories shifting, not quite certain. As always, you have an excellent way with words. ...And that's about all I can really say. I am truly lousy at commenting on poetry, I'm afraid. *sigh* It did stir up a very strong image in my mind, which means you did your job as a poet well.
Responding: (1) I swear there were two other stories where characters had long lashes. I would find them now but I'm feeling really lazy. (2) The chapter inconsistency bugs me, but in a published book I think that kind of thing is less noticeable. (3) Not there yet with the truth about Trifmara, but don't worry, it shall all be revealed eventually. (4) That fragment you pointed out bugged me a little too when I wrote it, but I couldn't be bothered to deal with it. I'll definitely go back and change it. ... Glad you enjoyed the chapter, despite what happened to James. I'll try to update soon.
5/10/2006 c1 1NovelJ
This has a sweet, look back feel. Like remembering a summer from highschool, I suppose. Just soft. Really like it. Thanks for reviewing my poem by the way. If you put up anymore poetry I'll try to review it.
1NovelJThis has a sweet, look back feel. Like remembering a summer from highschool, I suppose. Just soft. Really like it. Thanks for reviewing my poem by the way. If you put up anymore poetry I'll try to review it.
5/10/2006 c1 30Raiyune
You laid down the scene and mood for the reader very well here. I could almost picture myself in this setting as I read it now. Awesome work. Keep writing! :]
30RaiyuneYou laid down the scene and mood for the reader very well here. I could almost picture myself in this setting as I read it now. Awesome work. Keep writing! :]
5/8/2006 c1 32Morbane
I like it that you begin (ish) with a bed, and end it with a kind of awakening. That's quite polished. In fact, the ending is very clever, all-round. The rhymes, as I read it out to myself, are a little jerky, which distracts, but the perspective seems to come quite naturally, and the way that you move from one thing to another is quite natural, as though you'd filmed this, all in one shot.
32MorbaneI like it that you begin (ish) with a bed, and end it with a kind of awakening. That's quite polished. In fact, the ending is very clever, all-round. The rhymes, as I read it out to myself, are a little jerky, which distracts, but the perspective seems to come quite naturally, and the way that you move from one thing to another is quite natural, as though you'd filmed this, all in one shot.
5/8/2006 c1 219Matthew James Current
Lovely work, you truly are able to capture a moment with your words. Great diction and a rhyme scheme that is so well-written and subtle I didn't even notice it at first. A lovely, nostalgic write. Thank you very much for your reviews.
219Matthew James CurrentLovely work, you truly are able to capture a moment with your words. Great diction and a rhyme scheme that is so well-written and subtle I didn't even notice it at first. A lovely, nostalgic write. Thank you very much for your reviews.
5/4/2006 c1 20zaide koizumi
Aah, this piece is like coffee in a beautiful morning. I wonder how you could write like so even at your sleepy state. I wish I could write like you. I could almost imagine a figure in a picture of a specific scene of your lovely poem.
I just love it. Magnificent work.
20zaide koizumiAah, this piece is like coffee in a beautiful morning. I wonder how you could write like so even at your sleepy state. I wish I could write like you. I could almost imagine a figure in a picture of a specific scene of your lovely poem.
I just love it. Magnificent work.
5/1/2006 c1 19Olivine
okay, this is a really pretty little peaceful poem. i love the descriptions you put in here, especially the ones like "prom and choir, summer camp/half forgotten ecstasies" and "my penciled words all faded/ on its pages, soft with lead". really beautiful; youve done an awesome job :)
keep on writing ~~M.W. Renaee-:|:-
ps - haha, there you go reviewing left and right! thanks, btw :) okay, not left and right, but i just got 2 review alerts in a row, so for me, thats left and right. heh, yes im weird, but i cant help it. thank you for the reviews, though :D
19Olivineokay, this is a really pretty little peaceful poem. i love the descriptions you put in here, especially the ones like "prom and choir, summer camp/half forgotten ecstasies" and "my penciled words all faded/ on its pages, soft with lead". really beautiful; youve done an awesome job :)
keep on writing ~~M.W. Renaee-:|:-
ps - haha, there you go reviewing left and right! thanks, btw :) okay, not left and right, but i just got 2 review alerts in a row, so for me, thats left and right. heh, yes im weird, but i cant help it. thank you for the reviews, though :D
5/1/2006 c1 39SliversofSilverPain
This is beautiful. Lovely soft rhyming scheme and rhythm, it's like syrup, gliding slowly and sweetly through the mind.Well written, as always
39SliversofSilverPainThis is beautiful. Lovely soft rhyming scheme and rhythm, it's like syrup, gliding slowly and sweetly through the mind.Well written, as always