for Why Not We May8/29/2010 c1 
16dail-of-the-air
Hm .. the rhymes do add a nice touch to the message of the poem, but the meter is all off. Perhaps if you messed around with syntax and word choice a bit, then it might sound better?
Overall, I like how it seems incoherent at first, and then starts to come together, but the idea is still left mostly unrealized. Great job!
16dail-of-the-airHm .. the rhymes do add a nice touch to the message of the poem, but the meter is all off. Perhaps if you messed around with syntax and word choice a bit, then it might sound better?
Overall, I like how it seems incoherent at first, and then starts to come together, but the idea is still left mostly unrealized. Great job!
8/4/2010 c1 2FixitfelixJRJRJR
Else and but need a space between them. The title and last line felt odd, and sort of disrupted the flow because the uncommon usage of the wording. I liked it though- Good job.
A.S.
2FixitfelixJRJRJRElse and but need a space between them. The title and last line felt odd, and sort of disrupted the flow because the uncommon usage of the wording. I liked it though- Good job.
A.S.
9/28/2007 c1 20Twilight Starr
Nice poem.
Good luck with poetry and life.
Have a wonderful day. :)
~Twilight Starr~
20Twilight StarrNice poem.
Good luck with poetry and life.
Have a wonderful day. :)
~Twilight Starr~
8/2/2006 c1 197the Stranger in the moonlight
This was really good. Nice flow though the last line sort of confused me. Though at the same time it makes sense. I liked this flow.
Nice job, keep writing and thanks for the review of Small Comfort, Real Comfort .
~the Stranger in the moonlight~
197the Stranger in the moonlightThis was really good. Nice flow though the last line sort of confused me. Though at the same time it makes sense. I liked this flow.
Nice job, keep writing and thanks for the review of Small Comfort, Real Comfort .
~the Stranger in the moonlight~
6/30/2006 c1 47Viktrona
i like it alot but i think you could have cut two of the sentences in halfJa Na Ruby
47Viktronai like it alot but i think you could have cut two of the sentences in halfJa Na Ruby
6/6/2006 c1 2The Minister's Daughter
You have such a hopeful spirit in your writing; I can see your youth but also a sense of knowledge. If only everything could be as simple as all of that.
2The Minister's DaughterYou have such a hopeful spirit in your writing; I can see your youth but also a sense of knowledge. If only everything could be as simple as all of that.
4/26/2006 c1 3Adaku
I wish I ca write poetry -_-, anyway, thanks for reviewing TLS. ^_^ And, it does kind of sound pf Avatar doesn't? Well, keep up the good work, and the only reason why I'd reviewed this is because you reviewed on a "I'll Return the favor" story. hehe, that actually happen to me before-like two weeks ago. Wait, I'm getting off task on this review, and it's not even about the poem. Till next time
~Waterhealer
3AdakuI wish I ca write poetry -_-, anyway, thanks for reviewing TLS. ^_^ And, it does kind of sound pf Avatar doesn't? Well, keep up the good work, and the only reason why I'd reviewed this is because you reviewed on a "I'll Return the favor" story. hehe, that actually happen to me before-like two weeks ago. Wait, I'm getting off task on this review, and it's not even about the poem. Till next time
~Waterhealer
4/26/2006 c1 2Cat Townsend
This is very good... rather depressing, but very good. The flow is great, and there's enough emotion behind the words to make me think you've lost someone important recently... I'm probably reading rather too deep into it, though. I do that sometimes.Keep it up, this is a good poem...The only thing is I would categorize this under life, or love, rather than general. It could be taken either way.
2Cat TownsendThis is very good... rather depressing, but very good. The flow is great, and there's enough emotion behind the words to make me think you've lost someone important recently... I'm probably reading rather too deep into it, though. I do that sometimes.Keep it up, this is a good poem...The only thing is I would categorize this under life, or love, rather than general. It could be taken either way.
4/26/2006 c1 8When words lose meaning
You definently rhymed a lot, but it was great. I loved it.
-When Words Lose Meaning-
8When words lose meaningYou definently rhymed a lot, but it was great. I loved it.
-When Words Lose Meaning-