for Stay don't stay5/26/2006 c1 
15Lauren Wolfe
Seems a little forced, and yet the words pour forth easily...interestingly written indeed. Keep it up! ^-^
15Lauren WolfeSeems a little forced, and yet the words pour forth easily...interestingly written indeed. Keep it up! ^-^
5/21/2006 c1 24frayedlifeforce
the first and the last verse were my favourite. the metaphor and the imagery in the first verse was great tnad the emotion and effective repetition used in the last was perfect too.nice work.
24frayedlifeforcethe first and the last verse were my favourite. the metaphor and the imagery in the first verse was great tnad the emotion and effective repetition used in the last was perfect too.nice work.
5/4/2006 c1 111Crimson-Fantasy
Very sharp and alturnative, i love the end, and the repitition on some of the lyrics really gives great mental flow to the song with out any music. Beautiful-alot of the word choice and flow to this makes it relatable and that is an key quality in a song. This song keeps you guessing at words instead of being easy to predict as some are, you know when all your friends are singing a song you dont know but you can guess the words easy enough to sound cool lol. I like the qualities in your songs just as well as your poetry.To add to the fact that this would do well as a song i thik that it serves fine as poetry as well, in fact alot of what i write i sing when i write it just because otherwise i cant find the tune that it is meant to have. My friend and i were actually talking about how music has alot of basis to writing and how she likes to listen to music while she writes and i have to make my own, kind of an interesting concept, the relation between the two. Thanks for te piece of mind-
111Crimson-FantasyVery sharp and alturnative, i love the end, and the repitition on some of the lyrics really gives great mental flow to the song with out any music. Beautiful-alot of the word choice and flow to this makes it relatable and that is an key quality in a song. This song keeps you guessing at words instead of being easy to predict as some are, you know when all your friends are singing a song you dont know but you can guess the words easy enough to sound cool lol. I like the qualities in your songs just as well as your poetry.To add to the fact that this would do well as a song i thik that it serves fine as poetry as well, in fact alot of what i write i sing when i write it just because otherwise i cant find the tune that it is meant to have. My friend and i were actually talking about how music has alot of basis to writing and how she likes to listen to music while she writes and i have to make my own, kind of an interesting concept, the relation between the two. Thanks for te piece of mind-
5/2/2006 c1 879Moondog Dozier
This is full of true emotion. A lyrically magnificent work that captures the feeling of the situation well. The speaker really makes the reader identify and relate to the words and the direction of emotional progression. Well done.
879Moondog DozierThis is full of true emotion. A lyrically magnificent work that captures the feeling of the situation well. The speaker really makes the reader identify and relate to the words and the direction of emotional progression. Well done.
4/30/2006 c1 88multiples of six
This is beautifully written & sad. I don't think the last line was necessary, but maybe that's just me. Anyway, I like it. =)
88multiples of sixThis is beautifully written & sad. I don't think the last line was necessary, but maybe that's just me. Anyway, I like it. =)
4/29/2006 c1 18ShadesofBlue69
i like this, it makes sence, it has a nice flow and i think every1 can relate to it. nice job.
18ShadesofBlue69i like this, it makes sence, it has a nice flow and i think every1 can relate to it. nice job.