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for Aberdown

8/24/2006 c3 1Iain Gabriel Lampert
I can't wait to see where you go with this. Awesome!
8/24/2006 c2 Iain Gabriel Lampert
Now, this is what I'm talking about. That could be a Tolkien poem, or, at the very least, a R.A. Salvatore. Keep...poeming.
8/24/2006 c1 Iain Gabriel Lampert
I enjoy the poem; as someone had mentioned, Aberdown is a great name. However, I find the last lines in each of the stanzas (course; lame; fate) to not be on par with the rest of the poem. I mean, it's somewhat anticlimatic to see such a great poem's first three stanzas end, as you put it, "close to lame."

The last bit really makes the poem. I adored that.

Thank you for your comments on my story, by the way! I've edited it.
8/21/2006 c3 11Wolfie Star26
...and here I thought this would never be updated again and it was. I'm loving the knew song/poem thingy.

This is my favorite part..."She sang of night when they feared the darkThey fought like crows while she sang like a larkBut no blow struck her though they flew all around"

Keep up the great work with your stories. Oh, Destiny's new chapter should be out by the Seventh of September, but I updated Forever and Always like two weeks ago...So when you've got time...

Till whenever you or I update something worth reading.
8/15/2006 c3 12Lccorp2

T'alnoth of the Gold Flight:

While it's good to know you're writing again, there are a few things...admittedly, I'm not very good at poetry, but...

-The last two verses of every stanza seem a little stale when they all are comprised of "around" and "aberdown"...a little repetitive. I'm not sure if that's intentional or not...

-And you seem to have forgotten your spacebar in places.

Oh well.

Otherwise...good job getting the things to rhyme and tell a story at the same time...I was always bad at composing poetry...
8/15/2006 c3 13Shadowhound
Interesting song. It has a rythem to it that is almost tangible. Also, the imagery of it is excellent. I can practically watch the events that take place. Excellent song, I hope to see more soon.

8/15/2006 c3 2Casey Drake
...wow... hee! I have to put music to this!

:) CD
7/31/2006 c1 36trash can art
Humor and deep thought! It's wonderful, at least I think so.

Reminds me of a song by Modest Mouse called Black Cadillacs. The first two lines go, "we name our children after towns/that we've never been to."

That doesn't actually have much to do with the poem now that I think about it...
7/12/2006 c1 moonshine
THIS IS SO GOOD. Aberdown was a good name to chose for a place, and i enjoy the story feeling to it. once again, wonderful job.
5/23/2006 c2 11Wolfie Star26
I really was supposed to review this weeks ago...but I was busy. Really, really busy. Well no, not really. To tell you the truth, I just didn't feel like reviewing them at that point in time.

Hehe, but I so envy you. Not only can you write poems and stories, but you can write songs. All of which are always wonderful. I on the other end, stories and that is all.

These two songs were wonderful and I wonder how long it took you for the rhyme scheme. But then again the first and last line in each verse are the same. But they really are good songs and I hope you continue this great work.

To inform you, Destiny&Memories was updated and the sequel to An Assassin Forever is up.
5/6/2006 c2 2Casey Drake
Are these more Raven marching songs? oo! *starts making up music*

5/6/2006 c2 13Shadowhound
You must really like Aberdown. For some reason I keep on wanting to say 'Aberthon' or something. I'm definetly going have to read The Ravens at some point when I have the time.

5/6/2006 c1 Shadowhound
Interesting song. Very nice rythem to it. Unfortunetly, I'm not very good at stating my opinion to songs/poems. I like it, but I'm not entirely sure why.

5/5/2006 c1 29Predak
I really enjoyed the last stanza, way to go.


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