11/14/2006 c1 12SwitchVale
Damn. I loved it, it was amazing, and the rhyming almost made it feel beautiful in a very sad way.
Damn. I loved it, it was amazing, and the rhyming almost made it feel beautiful in a very sad way.
6/19/2006 c1 21insane in the brain
Forgive me, if I'm intruding personal ground since most poets are very sensitive about their poems and I have no right to judge or edit anyone else's words from their soul but for your first line, somehow [A sigh can speak of so many things] to me, personally, would make more sense if 'can speak of' was replaced with 'can indicate'.
Indicating can point towards misdirection, misdeameanour and general mishap of the turmoil of complicated emotions that we, human beings, often mistranslated and overanalyze ineffectively, thus, pushing towards more of a 'emotional' tuition level where a vast understanding of feelings invoked in human beings, such as pain, anger or lust, as examples, can be created to illustrate a picture with nothing but individual, single words.
Forgive me, if I'm intruding personal ground since most poets are very sensitive about their poems and I have no right to judge or edit anyone else's words from their soul but for your first line, somehow [A sigh can speak of so many things] to me, personally, would make more sense if 'can speak of' was replaced with 'can indicate'.
Indicating can point towards misdirection, misdeameanour and general mishap of the turmoil of complicated emotions that we, human beings, often mistranslated and overanalyze ineffectively, thus, pushing towards more of a 'emotional' tuition level where a vast understanding of feelings invoked in human beings, such as pain, anger or lust, as examples, can be created to illustrate a picture with nothing but individual, single words.
5/10/2006 c1 15babybubbledragon
this was great, i think its my favourite. Your moving away from Iris' style now, this seems even more natural than those ones did for me, loved it. yay! x
this was great, i think its my favourite. Your moving away from Iris' style now, this seems even more natural than those ones did for me, loved it. yay! x
5/9/2006 c1 19Olivine
lol, the only reason i ever sigh is because im bored, and/or tired, and i think its because my diapragm (i bet that isnt how its spelled) has to stretch, and my lungs will take in a lot of air so that it can stretch... i dunno. but ill stop talking about health related subjects, now (agh, i hate that class).
now the review! it was yet another awesome one from scrunchy. heh, youll be OVERJOYED to hear that this is one i might consider quoting, too. but not until after some time, since i change my quotes after a long time. but, yea. i really liked this one, and i really think youve done a good job on it!
once again, btw, your review/reaction/response/whateveryouwanttocallit was hilarious. you really make me laugh! (before i forget, im one of those weirdish people that dont like giving out their email to someone they havent personally met, so sorry^^ ill stick to reviewing you, though.) well, i would want to hear that explanation. why not on public domain? is there something wrong with it, or...something? was(am) I that 'mystery fan'? lol, because it wouldnt make sense if i were. am. you know i adore (thats honestly got to be the very first time in my LIFE ive used that word. be happy. or scared. your pick.) your work. lol 'my poor cheeks' omg, i hate when im laughing so hard, and my face starts hurting, and you cant stop laughing or smiling. that just makes it funnier, lol. im on your alerts list! :D haha, thats awesome! and i never said theres anything WRONG with insanity. believe me, if you were to meet me or my friends in real life, youd see that were all about insanity, without even meaning it to be like that. it just happens. i wasnt like that before, of course, but my friends just rubbed off on me. yes, im rambling... insanity IS the true path to happines. even in that straight jacket, heading off to the asslyum over yonder, inside youre all bubbly and happy, totally contradicting the scary screaming, am i right? :p lol, i love replying to your reviews. ive always got so much to say :)
now, two more things. well, three really. one: sorry for the non-reviewness of this one. i guess were even? two: aastha should be updated soon. i wanted to update all three of my stories at once, and i just have to finish writing a chapter of another story. three:... i forgot. XD
keep on writing ~~M.W. Renaee-:|:-
ps - oh yea! youre the first author (that i know of) whos got me on their alerts list -grins- youre awesome lol
lol, the only reason i ever sigh is because im bored, and/or tired, and i think its because my diapragm (i bet that isnt how its spelled) has to stretch, and my lungs will take in a lot of air so that it can stretch... i dunno. but ill stop talking about health related subjects, now (agh, i hate that class).
now the review! it was yet another awesome one from scrunchy. heh, youll be OVERJOYED to hear that this is one i might consider quoting, too. but not until after some time, since i change my quotes after a long time. but, yea. i really liked this one, and i really think youve done a good job on it!
once again, btw, your review/reaction/response/whateveryouwanttocallit was hilarious. you really make me laugh! (before i forget, im one of those weirdish people that dont like giving out their email to someone they havent personally met, so sorry^^ ill stick to reviewing you, though.) well, i would want to hear that explanation. why not on public domain? is there something wrong with it, or...something? was(am) I that 'mystery fan'? lol, because it wouldnt make sense if i were. am. you know i adore (thats honestly got to be the very first time in my LIFE ive used that word. be happy. or scared. your pick.) your work. lol 'my poor cheeks' omg, i hate when im laughing so hard, and my face starts hurting, and you cant stop laughing or smiling. that just makes it funnier, lol. im on your alerts list! :D haha, thats awesome! and i never said theres anything WRONG with insanity. believe me, if you were to meet me or my friends in real life, youd see that were all about insanity, without even meaning it to be like that. it just happens. i wasnt like that before, of course, but my friends just rubbed off on me. yes, im rambling... insanity IS the true path to happines. even in that straight jacket, heading off to the asslyum over yonder, inside youre all bubbly and happy, totally contradicting the scary screaming, am i right? :p lol, i love replying to your reviews. ive always got so much to say :)
now, two more things. well, three really. one: sorry for the non-reviewness of this one. i guess were even? two: aastha should be updated soon. i wanted to update all three of my stories at once, and i just have to finish writing a chapter of another story. three:... i forgot. XD
keep on writing ~~M.W. Renaee-:|:-
ps - oh yea! youre the first author (that i know of) whos got me on their alerts list -grins- youre awesome lol
5/9/2006 c1 9Rhianika
This is great. I love it! The idea behind it is awesome, I wish I would have thought of that :P Nice descriptions. The summary really got my attention. Awesome job, I'm adding it to my favs :)
Keep writing
~Rhia
This is great. I love it! The idea behind it is awesome, I wish I would have thought of that :P Nice descriptions. The summary really got my attention. Awesome job, I'm adding it to my favs :)
Keep writing
~Rhia
5/9/2006 c1 53AchtungBabyAchtung
love the ending, slightly wierd ryhme/ rythme? i guess it works though. :P iz xx
love the ending, slightly wierd ryhme/ rythme? i guess it works though. :P iz xx
5/9/2006 c1 Rebecca Kelsey
Very beautiful, I havent read a poem like this in awhile.
Very beautiful, I havent read a poem like this in awhile.
5/9/2006 c1 72Iris Early
it's not bad. the rhythm was a little off but the words were heartfelt. i did tell you i loathe the cliché 'angels with broken wings' but there you go. x
it's not bad. the rhythm was a little off but the words were heartfelt. i did tell you i loathe the cliché 'angels with broken wings' but there you go. x
5/9/2006 c1 popsikickles
so you cant go on the internet, but you can put stories on fictionpress? cleverignoring that, lovely poem, i love the line "the love between the first hello and the last goodbye"very evocative
so you cant go on the internet, but you can put stories on fictionpress? cleverignoring that, lovely poem, i love the line "the love between the first hello and the last goodbye"very evocative
5/9/2006 c1 281ThisCut-UpAngel
Normally I shy away from rhyming-they just aren't my favorite-but it really helps to add a certain depth to this. I must say you did a fantastic job.
Normally I shy away from rhyming-they just aren't my favorite-but it really helps to add a certain depth to this. I must say you did a fantastic job.