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5/1/2008 c1 5Stormy Whether
A sweet story, but it seems to be driven with a strong passive voice. It's not a bad thing, it just makes things harder to visualize. For example (weak example, although); instead of saying, 'my seventeenth birthdya was one of the best I'd ever had. Create a stronger scene that says this. That also gives us more insight into the characters. Other than that, it's a good story.

l0v3,

p0!s0n

aka on deviantART: truth-and-love14
10/7/2006 c1 2qtpie235
wow, that was a great story! is it based on the little mermaid? (only fairy tale i can think of that has to do with legs)
5/13/2006 c1 4FlashOfLightning
I really like this. I've never seen a story about something like this. Well done.
5/12/2006 c1 11VinnyRoxyFrankie
Wow - that was really cool! I really liked Cordelia as a character, not getting all depressed because she didn't have legs anymore .. and Brad sounds cute! haha

Well done!

~Ais

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