for Green Eyes And Butterflies3/16/2007 c1 
13CiaoBellaxx
god such a beautiful, beautiful poem.
you captured the innocence of childhood so well, it paints a picture
very well written, the expression of the emotions in the poem is so delicate and lovely
13CiaoBellaxxgod such a beautiful, beautiful poem.
you captured the innocence of childhood so well, it paints a picture
very well written, the expression of the emotions in the poem is so delicate and lovely
1/1/2007 c1 Eloquent-Marionette
such a wonderfully precious poem. it portrays a delicate image in my head. i envisioned a little child and her mother or father showing her a beautiful butterfly, instructing their child how to handle the delicate creature. a very warm picture. maybe a childhood memory. i love this poem. keep up the good work! keep writing forever and always!
luv always and forever,
~Davida
such a wonderfully precious poem. it portrays a delicate image in my head. i envisioned a little child and her mother or father showing her a beautiful butterfly, instructing their child how to handle the delicate creature. a very warm picture. maybe a childhood memory. i love this poem. keep up the good work! keep writing forever and always!
luv always and forever,
~Davida
6/22/2006 c1 special
that was a really pretty poem.
i feel wow-ed at its prettiness...lol
pretty pretty pretty pretty..beautiful
*ahem*..okay: here's a stab at constructive criticism (though you wrote this quite a while ago...) well..it just seems that this isn't really from the point of view of a little child..a child would have different vocabulary and not this much..i don't know the word..but this:
"Its wings slowly beating timeWith our hearts"..i can't imagine my baby brother thinking that..lol
unless this was a memory or a memory/metaphorical poem..then it would truly be beautiful..
anyways..maybe i should do what i do best..praising! whoop-dee-doo!
". You . Stop . Me .(And my heart is healed)" wow. that was bee-yoo-tee-ful..seriously..wow.
"You won’t let me take it.But you give it to me.And everything’s different." Profoundly beautiful.
and wow..the last stanza was..wow.
beautiful job on this..sorry if i wasted your time with my babbling..lol
;)allie
that was a really pretty poem.
i feel wow-ed at its prettiness...lol
pretty pretty pretty pretty..beautiful
*ahem*..okay: here's a stab at constructive criticism (though you wrote this quite a while ago...) well..it just seems that this isn't really from the point of view of a little child..a child would have different vocabulary and not this much..i don't know the word..but this:
"Its wings slowly beating timeWith our hearts"..i can't imagine my baby brother thinking that..lol
unless this was a memory or a memory/metaphorical poem..then it would truly be beautiful..
anyways..maybe i should do what i do best..praising! whoop-dee-doo!
". You . Stop . Me .(And my heart is healed)" wow. that was bee-yoo-tee-ful..seriously..wow.
"You won’t let me take it.But you give it to me.And everything’s different." Profoundly beautiful.
and wow..the last stanza was..wow.
beautiful job on this..sorry if i wasted your time with my babbling..lol
;)allie
6/18/2006 c1 15Oriel Vaughn
This is really innocent and endearing, and I love the way the mood goes from childish clumsiness to this profound sense of... love? "Its wings slowly beating time / with our hearts", yeah.
It's interesting how the child wants his mother to teach him how to let the butterflies fly, and in teaching him, his mother's also going to teach HIM how to fly (grow up).
Visually very interesting too, with the usage of underlines, italics and t h i s w a y of writing ^^ Go you!
15Oriel VaughnThis is really innocent and endearing, and I love the way the mood goes from childish clumsiness to this profound sense of... love? "Its wings slowly beating time / with our hearts", yeah.
It's interesting how the child wants his mother to teach him how to let the butterflies fly, and in teaching him, his mother's also going to teach HIM how to fly (grow up).
Visually very interesting too, with the usage of underlines, italics and t h i s w a y of writing ^^ Go you!
6/16/2006 c1 31bjw
Oh.. how touching! To me it's like a child getting one of her first few lessons in life... of graciousness and gentleness. You've captured her [okay I'm using "her" coz it sounds more apt somehow xD] innocence and childishness really vividly, especially in the line "I . Will . Break . Them ." That made me smile.
It's a lovely, sparkly, endearing poem. [And sorry about not reviewing for so long...*looks guilty* I lost all my inspiration for so long I kind of left FP alone. But you can expect a whole bushel of it sometime...I'll get around to it eventually hehe.]
Do keep writing!
31bjwOh.. how touching! To me it's like a child getting one of her first few lessons in life... of graciousness and gentleness. You've captured her [okay I'm using "her" coz it sounds more apt somehow xD] innocence and childishness really vividly, especially in the line "I . Will . Break . Them ." That made me smile.
It's a lovely, sparkly, endearing poem. [And sorry about not reviewing for so long...*looks guilty* I lost all my inspiration for so long I kind of left FP alone. But you can expect a whole bushel of it sometime...I'll get around to it eventually hehe.]
Do keep writing!
5/19/2006 c1 1rrmehta364
Wow, really good poem. I like the metaphor with the butterflies (I think its a metaphor) and I like how the butterfly gets crushed at first when you try to grab it, but comes and goes as when you stand still. Well, overall simply an excellent poem.
1rrmehta364Wow, really good poem. I like the metaphor with the butterflies (I think its a metaphor) and I like how the butterfly gets crushed at first when you try to grab it, but comes and goes as when you stand still. Well, overall simply an excellent poem.
5/18/2006 c1 11LEDlorien7
That is just the most beautiful poem i've ever read. I love your style so much. It is more poetic than most poetry. i love it!
11LEDlorien7That is just the most beautiful poem i've ever read. I love your style so much. It is more poetic than most poetry. i love it!
5/18/2006 c1 5water lorelei
Hm...
I cannot interperet this into my own feeble vocabulary. Hehe.
It seems strange to me... I can't understand it. Ah well, I guess you'll have to explain later. Mwahahaha.
What that evil laugh was for, I have o idea.
Twas very descriptie and loverly. Yes, loverly. I liked the last stanza best, how it had a special ring to it. NIcely done!
Farewell,
*silent darkness*
5water loreleiHm...
I cannot interperet this into my own feeble vocabulary. Hehe.
It seems strange to me... I can't understand it. Ah well, I guess you'll have to explain later. Mwahahaha.
What that evil laugh was for, I have o idea.
Twas very descriptie and loverly. Yes, loverly. I liked the last stanza best, how it had a special ring to it. NIcely done!
Farewell,
*silent darkness*
5/18/2006 c1 20Autumn Dance
Really pretty. You're different tones and textures in this make it seem really grafted. I adore it. It's so elegant and graceful with a flowing "river" like fashion. I really think you've done really well here. I think that the "Theyre...not...for..." etc should be in speechmarks- i'm presuming that it's the child speaking? Well i think with a statement like that it needs to be clarified as to what and who. Like the childish voice and the stuttering. It's intricate and passionate and I really Love it. I wish that I could view the world like that. Through eyes of a child. Well done honey bun and keep writing. PS!¬ Found perfect pair of drainpipes that fit me woohoo! Bought them and they are fab! I can actually get in AND out of them! Lol! I will tlak ot you when i'm home. Love as always...Autumn x
20Autumn DanceReally pretty. You're different tones and textures in this make it seem really grafted. I adore it. It's so elegant and graceful with a flowing "river" like fashion. I really think you've done really well here. I think that the "Theyre...not...for..." etc should be in speechmarks- i'm presuming that it's the child speaking? Well i think with a statement like that it needs to be clarified as to what and who. Like the childish voice and the stuttering. It's intricate and passionate and I really Love it. I wish that I could view the world like that. Through eyes of a child. Well done honey bun and keep writing. PS!¬ Found perfect pair of drainpipes that fit me woohoo! Bought them and they are fab! I can actually get in AND out of them! Lol! I will tlak ot you when i'm home. Love as always...Autumn x
5/17/2006 c1 132mizu no kokoro
i especially liked the parts in italics, really stands out with emphasis. good job
keep writing
132mizu no kokoroi especially liked the parts in italics, really stands out with emphasis. good job
keep writing
5/17/2006 c1 2omaterluna
this was really good...i mean REALLY good lol...my favorite part was...And joy sparkles like innocence
2omaterlunathis was really good...i mean REALLY good lol...my favorite part was...And joy sparkles like innocence
5/17/2006 c1 Dina
That was amaizing!It was realy beautiful.It flows realy nicely. I realy love it.Im...*trys to think of perfect word*...enchanted. YES thats it! Its enchanting. Great job!
That was amaizing!It was realy beautiful.It flows realy nicely. I realy love it.Im...*trys to think of perfect word*...enchanted. YES thats it! Its enchanting. Great job!