for That Place5/20/2006 c1 
24Tad Zendol
Are you Jewish? I am, and even though I know almost nothing about the Holocaust (I'm old now, and my mother still pleads me not to read about factual things from it), vbut I do know that this was a very stragne story. I'm not sure if that comment is in a good way or a bad way, so don't ask, but I don't really get it, and the end seems like it's cut off. It goes too fast, and you don't really make a point, or really give any emotion. I think you can go further with this.
24Tad ZendolAre you Jewish? I am, and even though I know almost nothing about the Holocaust (I'm old now, and my mother still pleads me not to read about factual things from it), vbut I do know that this was a very stragne story. I'm not sure if that comment is in a good way or a bad way, so don't ask, but I don't really get it, and the end seems like it's cut off. It goes too fast, and you don't really make a point, or really give any emotion. I think you can go further with this.
5/18/2006 c1 8Lord-of-Fools
Hm...this is quite good, but I'm a little troubled with the ending. Which country is this set in? Most of the ghettos were liquidated in about 1943 and so Menachem cannot have died 'before the ghetto' as you say, two months before the war ended.
Aside from that though, this seems fairly accurate. Just a few grammar mistakes.
8Lord-of-FoolsHm...this is quite good, but I'm a little troubled with the ending. Which country is this set in? Most of the ghettos were liquidated in about 1943 and so Menachem cannot have died 'before the ghetto' as you say, two months before the war ended.
Aside from that though, this seems fairly accurate. Just a few grammar mistakes.