Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Memories

9/7/2006 c1 70elvenstorm
Ooh some lovely imagery in this. Like the use of italics to emphasise certain bits without making it looking too showy if you get what I mean. It hsa a perfect sadness to it especially in the use of winter and cold dances. Really like the sudden change to summer, perfect contrast. Well done x
8/9/2006 c1 Kelly
Hiya! First off, I don't feel qualified to submit a remotely helpful review. Secondly, I really LOVED this poem. I loved how it flowed and I loved how you described everything. I escpecially loved the ending paragraph, it had a lot of beautiful imagery. I love the last three lines, they were great closers and beautifully writtien!Congratulations!
8/9/2006 c1 kellie
idk, i think it might seem better without the xjust skip a line maybe?

it's really good ((as is all your work *bows down*))kind of melancholy because it seems like its about an older person looking back and missing the past ((i hope i am right about that... im not the best at analyzing))

okay what im not sure about.. is you have the summer and spring and the dancing in the rain and thats good... then you have winter and fall but you include "warm summer nights,

fireflies caught,

barefeet on the grass,"

i really like that line... but maybe it should go with summer instead of winter...

but of course then you go into the "streamers of snow" ((amazing alliteration by the way))

but nonetheless its very good. i like it.

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service