for Bury My Heart For Love and Pride!6/6/2006 c1 
1Mr. Magic
i agree with everyone. u r immature. this story is pretty confusing. ur summaries pretty weird too. ur also mean. i now find it disgraceful to call myself a freshman. u should really grow up. ive read some of the reviews u leave people. u r not a nice person. just remember: if u dont hav anything nice to say, dont say anything at all. or else u go to hell. hav a great day!
Mr. Magic
1Mr. Magici agree with everyone. u r immature. this story is pretty confusing. ur summaries pretty weird too. ur also mean. i now find it disgraceful to call myself a freshman. u should really grow up. ive read some of the reviews u leave people. u r not a nice person. just remember: if u dont hav anything nice to say, dont say anything at all. or else u go to hell. hav a great day!
Mr. Magic
6/6/2006 c1 8Moonbryte
HA HA HA! Everyone does hate you on this site. No one hates me...um...yeah, nobody.
But seriously Lizzie, why use all caps for a summary? Summaries should be short and attract the reader, not give them a headache.
Overall, the story was okay, can use a second draft to make it better. I like the title. It suits the story.
Oh yeah, why write that on a review Lizzie? Now everyone is going to read it. Just to let the public know, it's a lie. Lizzie is a very insane girl.
8MoonbryteHA HA HA! Everyone does hate you on this site. No one hates me...um...yeah, nobody.
But seriously Lizzie, why use all caps for a summary? Summaries should be short and attract the reader, not give them a headache.
Overall, the story was okay, can use a second draft to make it better. I like the title. It suits the story.
Oh yeah, why write that on a review Lizzie? Now everyone is going to read it. Just to let the public know, it's a lie. Lizzie is a very insane girl.
5/30/2006 c1 plchldr
Uhmm...yeah.
Well, first off, (and from what I gather you have a rather immature way of going about and flaming your reviewers, so yes...feel free to flame me if you want, but kindly do it anon. so I can delete it? Thanks.) first off, the summary. I can understand that coming up with a good one is hard, and putting a little [pls read n review!] at the end is fine, but THAT? Come ON! A reader would have no idea by looking at that what your story was even about.
Second of all. Your story is...confusion. Confusion times TEN. It starts abruptly, ends abruptly, and just plain confuses. I will admit that the plot is good, albiet a little too...overdramatic for my tastes, but that's no big deal. It'd be a pretty good story if it made more sense.
Really, though, my main purpose for this review wasn't to point out what's already been pointed out, but to ask you something, namely-could you PLEASE grow up? You went and flamed a good friend of mind, Apoc Genesis, mearly because you didn't like/want to take the comments in his review. PLEASE. Not everyone's gonna be nice to you in the real world, sweety. Learn to take critisim. I know A.G. , he could have been a hell of a lot nastier then he was to you. Plus, flaming his stuff to 'get revenge' just shows how bratty you actually are. You say in your profile that you're a freshman in an Art School? Dunno whether you mean High School or Collage, but either way, for someone of that age, flamming out of spite is just pathetic.
Like I said, feel free to flame me all you want. I only have one thing posted up anyway ^^. Normally I'm nice in my reviews, but honestly? You, with your immature attitude, really don't deserve it.
Uhmm...yeah.
Well, first off, (and from what I gather you have a rather immature way of going about and flaming your reviewers, so yes...feel free to flame me if you want, but kindly do it anon. so I can delete it? Thanks.) first off, the summary. I can understand that coming up with a good one is hard, and putting a little [pls read n review!] at the end is fine, but THAT? Come ON! A reader would have no idea by looking at that what your story was even about.
Second of all. Your story is...confusion. Confusion times TEN. It starts abruptly, ends abruptly, and just plain confuses. I will admit that the plot is good, albiet a little too...overdramatic for my tastes, but that's no big deal. It'd be a pretty good story if it made more sense.
Really, though, my main purpose for this review wasn't to point out what's already been pointed out, but to ask you something, namely-could you PLEASE grow up? You went and flamed a good friend of mind, Apoc Genesis, mearly because you didn't like/want to take the comments in his review. PLEASE. Not everyone's gonna be nice to you in the real world, sweety. Learn to take critisim. I know A.G. , he could have been a hell of a lot nastier then he was to you. Plus, flaming his stuff to 'get revenge' just shows how bratty you actually are. You say in your profile that you're a freshman in an Art School? Dunno whether you mean High School or Collage, but either way, for someone of that age, flamming out of spite is just pathetic.
Like I said, feel free to flame me all you want. I only have one thing posted up anyway ^^. Normally I'm nice in my reviews, but honestly? You, with your immature attitude, really don't deserve it.
5/27/2006 c1 27Apoc Genesis
Overall I was extremely confused. The story didnt even really seem to hold itself together, and seemed more like mindless details if anything else. Reading it was more like an atrocious drug trip rather than a well put together piece of fiction.
I wont even bring attention to your..."summary", as i think that topic has been adressed already.
Please learn how to write before posting
27Apoc GenesisOverall I was extremely confused. The story didnt even really seem to hold itself together, and seemed more like mindless details if anything else. Reading it was more like an atrocious drug trip rather than a well put together piece of fiction.
I wont even bring attention to your..."summary", as i think that topic has been adressed already.
Please learn how to write before posting
5/26/2006 c1 12Radio Saturday
Miss Lizzy -
Well, I understnad that you're something of a troll, which is unkind at best, as well as being downright wasteful, both of your time and of others'.
As to your story - not too bad. The style was very overwraught and somewhat uneven. (Since I'm assuming this is some kind of medieval fantasy setting, it might be wise to leave out phrases such as "sweetie.") I would like to have more a feeling of ending to it, and I would like to see the dream explained. Your grammar could do with some work, and I agree that PLZ READ ITS JUST GOOD is annoying (and that's the nicest thing I can say about it). Also, "corpsy" is not a word (if you must use phrases such as this, I suggest "corpse-y" or "Corpse-like" and "corpsy" just sounds too much like "horsey" to be taken seriously). However, I think if you honed your style a little more, you could become quite good.
Also, while trolls are never appreciated, I value every opinion I can get of my story, "Vampire's Wake."
12Radio SaturdayMiss Lizzy -
Well, I understnad that you're something of a troll, which is unkind at best, as well as being downright wasteful, both of your time and of others'.
As to your story - not too bad. The style was very overwraught and somewhat uneven. (Since I'm assuming this is some kind of medieval fantasy setting, it might be wise to leave out phrases such as "sweetie.") I would like to have more a feeling of ending to it, and I would like to see the dream explained. Your grammar could do with some work, and I agree that PLZ READ ITS JUST GOOD is annoying (and that's the nicest thing I can say about it). Also, "corpsy" is not a word (if you must use phrases such as this, I suggest "corpse-y" or "Corpse-like" and "corpsy" just sounds too much like "horsey" to be taken seriously). However, I think if you honed your style a little more, you could become quite good.
Also, while trolls are never appreciated, I value every opinion I can get of my story, "Vampire's Wake."
5/26/2006 c1 15ForeverLostTear
OMG ITS NOT GOD! I SWEAR! so go back you 1 year old brat and sort your life out before being so rude to other peoples stories. The whole point of the reviews is to help them improve not demand that they change their stories to your liking.
15ForeverLostTearOMG ITS NOT GOD! I SWEAR! so go back you 1 year old brat and sort your life out before being so rude to other peoples stories. The whole point of the reviews is to help them improve not demand that they change their stories to your liking.
5/26/2006 c1 1Pheo
This story was pretty good, I didn't like some parts and they just didn’t go. Like this sentence "blood tears started coming out of her eyes and dripped onto the sword" It really didn't go well. You could have tried "Blood tears began to fall from her eyes and dripped freely onto the sword" also the "But you know those eyes are just the eyes of the devil’s eyes" Maybe cut out the last eyes. The dream was also slightly confusing, good at the same time though. "she had laid in sticky dried blood of Armand’s and hers." Where she had fallen maybe? I'm sorry but these things really annoy me, I have to point them out. At one part you really used "Soldier" too much... I'll just stop there and forget about the other things. I found the plot was very interesting, I did like it... you just need to change your writing style a bit, or maybe read through after you have finished? Looking to see if anything it out of place.
1PheoThis story was pretty good, I didn't like some parts and they just didn’t go. Like this sentence "blood tears started coming out of her eyes and dripped onto the sword" It really didn't go well. You could have tried "Blood tears began to fall from her eyes and dripped freely onto the sword" also the "But you know those eyes are just the eyes of the devil’s eyes" Maybe cut out the last eyes. The dream was also slightly confusing, good at the same time though. "she had laid in sticky dried blood of Armand’s and hers." Where she had fallen maybe? I'm sorry but these things really annoy me, I have to point them out. At one part you really used "Soldier" too much... I'll just stop there and forget about the other things. I found the plot was very interesting, I did like it... you just need to change your writing style a bit, or maybe read through after you have finished? Looking to see if anything it out of place.
5/25/2006 c1 6D. V. Kage
Kutelizzy, I have noticed reading many of your reviews that you are rude, just plain rude. I would have to agree with Merlin85, you are a vermin. Very insecure, and by placing bad reviews upon other people's work, you try to feed your own insecurity. And, by the looks of reviews left by other writers, you have no fans in the writing world.
6D. V. KageKutelizzy, I have noticed reading many of your reviews that you are rude, just plain rude. I would have to agree with Merlin85, you are a vermin. Very insecure, and by placing bad reviews upon other people's work, you try to feed your own insecurity. And, by the looks of reviews left by other writers, you have no fans in the writing world.
5/25/2006 c1 27Merlin85
I don't like you. I think you are immature and unbelievably rude, which I don't understand. Usually writers are smart, or at least identify common sense. The sad part is the amount of pieces you have written. I am not a person to be bias, so I WOULD have been interested in reading one or more of your things, but seeing what kind of insecure, needy vermin you apparently appear to be, I find myself unable to even imagine burning your work. Normally I would thank such a person for leaving me a review, no matter how merciless, but when it comes to an incompetent disgrace to intelligent humanity, like yourself, I find it incomprehensible. Better luck on your advertisement.
27Merlin85I don't like you. I think you are immature and unbelievably rude, which I don't understand. Usually writers are smart, or at least identify common sense. The sad part is the amount of pieces you have written. I am not a person to be bias, so I WOULD have been interested in reading one or more of your things, but seeing what kind of insecure, needy vermin you apparently appear to be, I find myself unable to even imagine burning your work. Normally I would thank such a person for leaving me a review, no matter how merciless, but when it comes to an incompetent disgrace to intelligent humanity, like yourself, I find it incomprehensible. Better luck on your advertisement.
5/25/2006 c1 1The Great Cthulhu Plushie
I must admit, from the reviews you've gotten, you're a very accomplished little troll. Clever strategy-leave dumbass reviews on other stories and lure the authors into reviewing yours under the guise of their getiing to rip apart an atrocious piece of fiction. Your stories really aren't that bad-try fixing some simple style issues, and writing nicer (actual) reviews for other people, and people will do the same for you.
1The Great Cthulhu PlushieI must admit, from the reviews you've gotten, you're a very accomplished little troll. Clever strategy-leave dumbass reviews on other stories and lure the authors into reviewing yours under the guise of their getiing to rip apart an atrocious piece of fiction. Your stories really aren't that bad-try fixing some simple style issues, and writing nicer (actual) reviews for other people, and people will do the same for you.
5/25/2006 c1 36Centaurrius
Huh... I see I'm not the only one with a problem with your stupid ass. It's people like you- people who can't even properly spell "sucks" (that's s-u-c-k-s, by the way)- whose reviews I couldn't bat an eye over.
Read and review my work when you've learned both to spell, and a little TACT, for god's sake. You're freaking FOURTEEN; grow up.
36CentaurriusHuh... I see I'm not the only one with a problem with your stupid ass. It's people like you- people who can't even properly spell "sucks" (that's s-u-c-k-s, by the way)- whose reviews I couldn't bat an eye over.
Read and review my work when you've learned both to spell, and a little TACT, for god's sake. You're freaking FOURTEEN; grow up.
5/25/2006 c1 1Al O Bunny Professional PS WP
What the hell is wrong with you? PLZ JUST FRIGGIN READ IT! ITS GOOD I SWEAR! O GOD JST PLZ READ !
First of all "Please just read it. It's good I swear! Oh god just please read!" is what you meant to say.
Second that's a dumbass thing to say. I mean PLZ, JST, O, and FRIGGIN. Learn to spell. And then there's ITS and READ !. What you mean to say is It's (or It is) and read!
And what if we all wrote like you. O MN TIS BUK SCKS ! I DONT WANT TO RD IT ANYMO!
DEER PENPLHOW R U! IM FN! PLZ! O ME GOD RD TIS STORY I ROTE! ITS SO GUD U WUDNT BELEEV! RD IT PLZ! RD IT PLZ! O GAD! O GOD! O GOD! RD! RD! RD! RD! PLZ PLZ!
1Al O Bunny Professional PS WPWhat the hell is wrong with you? PLZ JUST FRIGGIN READ IT! ITS GOOD I SWEAR! O GOD JST PLZ READ !
First of all "Please just read it. It's good I swear! Oh god just please read!" is what you meant to say.
Second that's a dumbass thing to say. I mean PLZ, JST, O, and FRIGGIN. Learn to spell. And then there's ITS and READ !. What you mean to say is It's (or It is) and read!
And what if we all wrote like you. O MN TIS BUK SCKS ! I DONT WANT TO RD IT ANYMO!
DEER PENPLHOW R U! IM FN! PLZ! O ME GOD RD TIS STORY I ROTE! ITS SO GUD U WUDNT BELEEV! RD IT PLZ! RD IT PLZ! O GAD! O GOD! O GOD! RD! RD! RD! RD! PLZ PLZ!
5/25/2006 c1 10Tag Morgan
I didn't read this, I just thought you should know. "sux" is spelled s-u-c-k-s. There's that oh and if you're going to write horror, at least spell your topic right. it is W-E-R-E-W-O-L-F. Review me when you grow up.
10Tag MorganI didn't read this, I just thought you should know. "sux" is spelled s-u-c-k-s. There's that oh and if you're going to write horror, at least spell your topic right. it is W-E-R-E-W-O-L-F. Review me when you grow up.