
6/22/2008 c1 Arra
Oh! The third part was wonderful...and funny!
Am I right that it has something to do with the "laziness leads to obesity" of part one? Nina's sort of glimpse to the future?
Oh! The third part was wonderful...and funny!
Am I right that it has something to do with the "laziness leads to obesity" of part one? Nina's sort of glimpse to the future?
12/27/2007 c1 Plaid Beans
I didn't really like how you rushed into telling the story, but it 's insanely interesting. I don't know if it was meant to be funny, but I thought the phrase 'HELL. Rules of reality no longer apply' was hilarious. Also, I liked how Hell enjoyed people who behaved themselves and how Lucius was handsome.
I didn't really like how you rushed into telling the story, but it 's insanely interesting. I don't know if it was meant to be funny, but I thought the phrase 'HELL. Rules of reality no longer apply' was hilarious. Also, I liked how Hell enjoyed people who behaved themselves and how Lucius was handsome.
6/3/2006 c1
11Jusy
Hey. :)
Haven't been here for a while. This is edited, yes? Looks a lot better.
Suggestion... Maybe you could make the intro a bit longer. The whole "you're going to get fat if you sit there all day" doesn't really strike me as needed, unless Nina gets lazy later on or something. :/

Hey. :)
Haven't been here for a while. This is edited, yes? Looks a lot better.
Suggestion... Maybe you could make the intro a bit longer. The whole "you're going to get fat if you sit there all day" doesn't really strike me as needed, unless Nina gets lazy later on or something. :/