for cosmopolitan1/4/2009 c1 
7facingdemons
The last line was the line that just made the whole piece of exquisite writing all the more compelling.
7facingdemonsThe last line was the line that just made the whole piece of exquisite writing all the more compelling.
11/29/2007 c1 67Helpless-Dreamer01
Ok, my lovely. About revenge, or a love that has a revenge in seek of parley.. (also prob doesn't help that i've drank so much either lol) I like it though, confusing, yet... refreshing. BRAVA!
Dani
67Helpless-Dreamer01Ok, my lovely. About revenge, or a love that has a revenge in seek of parley.. (also prob doesn't help that i've drank so much either lol) I like it though, confusing, yet... refreshing. BRAVA!
Dani
9/17/2006 c1 80citrus scented
i think this would read better in stanza format, but then again having said that this gives the effect of writing on a note. the kind you find, with no title or anything.
I like this. I think I get what you're trying to say, that you've been trying to put your situation/feeling about someone into a poem...but they're so 3d they're hard to compress into words. well yeah I can relate to that.
its good, its sweet, unique and just...works well.
80citrus scentedi think this would read better in stanza format, but then again having said that this gives the effect of writing on a note. the kind you find, with no title or anything.
I like this. I think I get what you're trying to say, that you've been trying to put your situation/feeling about someone into a poem...but they're so 3d they're hard to compress into words. well yeah I can relate to that.
its good, its sweet, unique and just...works well.
6/17/2006 c1 871no.peace.los.angeles
Wow, amazing work. I love some of the phrases in here: "broken boy promises," "self pity on dirty white phone cords." I love that last line. So perfect. Keep writing! :)
871no.peace.los.angelesWow, amazing work. I love some of the phrases in here: "broken boy promises," "self pity on dirty white phone cords." I love that last line. So perfect. Keep writing! :)
6/4/2006 c1 Martin Peterson
You're such a wonderfully fresh writer! Love the first sentance, which almost produces an image of fake, imagined, perhaps fantastical love. As for the last line... perfectly illustrates your way with words!
Matt
You're such a wonderfully fresh writer! Love the first sentance, which almost produces an image of fake, imagined, perhaps fantastical love. As for the last line... perfectly illustrates your way with words!
Matt