
5/1/2009 c1
65white to gray
I like this, but I think it would be more powerful without the italics. The rhyming between all three words is visible without drawing attention to them.
Constructive critique only, no harm meant. :) I have to add that the image of stretched leather is great and raw.

I like this, but I think it would be more powerful without the italics. The rhyming between all three words is visible without drawing attention to them.
Constructive critique only, no harm meant. :) I have to add that the image of stretched leather is great and raw.
7/12/2006 c1 toxic-nooodle725
loved tha last line. kudos!
loved tha last line. kudos!
6/8/2006 c1
11les petits bateaux
oh my. this is GORGEOUS! i mean, the intesity in this is so thick. :D
-trinity

oh my. this is GORGEOUS! i mean, the intesity in this is so thick. :D
-trinity
6/4/2006 c1
116searchlight
I think you meant 'accept' in the summary, not 'except'. Just a little constructive criticism.

I think you meant 'accept' in the summary, not 'except'. Just a little constructive criticism.