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for The Trehouse in Houlihan Park

2/2/2007 c1 1El-Burrito
This is good.

It was a little predictable and the ending was visible miles away, and Charlie's mother was sort of exaggerated. She didn't have a single redeeming quality, or even really a personality.

But your writing is good, your imagery of the town in particular was probably the best part of the story.

Maybe it was a little drawn out. Most of the events could have fit in a single day, instead of having him running home, doing something, running over for a few minutes, going home, you know?

Your dialogue and Charlie were both pretty natural, though.
8/20/2006 c1 4K. T. Marie
Oh gosh that's really creepy! i love ghost stories and this one was really awesomely creepy.

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