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for Zoning Out II

4/29/2010 c25 5rogueninja
I have loved both of these stories, despite the very few minor spelling/grammar errors. I hope there'll be a third one someday!
8/27/2009 c25 suzie
it just occurred to me how long i've been following the zoning out series (if two can make a series, i don't know). but it's actually been years and i feel like i've grown up with zach and ashley.

i noticed there are hints in the last few chapters of a third zoning out. i'll be keeping watch for it.

until then,

suzie
7/26/2009 c25 2Barraketh
That was awesome. I really get excited when there are new chapters for Zoning Out... Thanks for keeping it up!

On the editorial side, I noticed some awkward wording in chapter 24:

Suddenly, one of Rhea’s stabs wasn’t dodged by Astarte
5/22/2009 c22 suzie
still reading, still incredible.
8/24/2008 c17 suzie
Really, really sad. Almost made me cry, which I never do.

And as understanding as Ann tries to be, I just hate her. If I ever decide to be a psychologist, I'll at least pretend to believe what my patients say. Ugh.
8/24/2008 c16 suzie
This is getting even better. It's almost funny seeing Astarte in that situation, when she's usually the villain. And I definitly didn't expect maternal instincts. Brilliant.

Glad I gave you that "kick".
8/19/2008 c15 suzie
I just finished reading zoning out and the fifteen chapters there are of this, and I have a feeling that you've stopped writing it, but if you did, PLEASE reconsider. This is incredible. I could not stop reading it and I'm dying to know what happens! Especially with Astarte's baby. It was so unexpected and now I have so many questions. Specifically what happens to Zach and Ashley next?

I love the story, it's amazing. Really well researched, the Paradise Lost refrences fit so well that it's actually making me think. The details are perfect, especially the description of Golgotha. I can almost see it.

Great story overall. Keep writing.
8/19/2008 c1 suzie
I just finished reading zoning out and the fifteen chapters there are of this, and I have a feeling that you've stopped writing it, but if you did, PLEASE reconsider. This is incredible. I could not stop reading it and I'm dying to know what happens! Especially with Astarte's baby. It was so unexpected and now I have so many questions. Specifically what happens to Zach and Ashley next?

I love the story, it's amazing. Really well researched, the Paradise Lost refrences fit so well that it's actually making me think. The details are perfect, especially the description of Golgotha. I can almost see it.

Great story overall. Keep writing.
4/22/2008 c1 nobody
When I first started reading Zoning Out, I was completely amazed that I was reading it online because it was SO good I felt like I should've been reading it from a published book. And the sequel is incredible, which usually doesn't happen.

I love how disgustingly kinky/sadistic Baal and Astarte are, and I never expected Astarte to be so lost without Baal, but it really works somehow.

The details and references are perfect.

So is the story.
3/29/2008 c14 8Alan Wellest
I serious hope u will do something to indicate the scence changes. Something like * between the end of one scene and the start of another.

(ie. “We’re going to see my sister,” Lethe explained. “My sister Eunoe. It’s time to put things right with Ethan here.”

*

There had been a long silence in the consultation room. Finally, Zach decided to break it. He looked up at his father. “Dad? Will you please leave me alone with Ann?” He didn’t call her Dr. Harring anymore. After three sessions she was starting to become a familiar aspect of his life, almost like a friend, but not quite. )

This is turning out to be a great series. You should starting thinking of publishing this. Cant wait for the next update. Keep going!
1/6/2008 c13 16Boooklover
I recently read Zoning Out, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Part 2 is just as excellent, from its characters to the vivid descriptions. Please update soon!
6/19/2007 c10 12theTwilightPen
My god, you're back!

I love this story. Like, deeply. It's one of those things that I have a feeling will eventually grow into a bestselling fantasy/horror novel.

Everything is beautiful and absolutely fantastic. It's good to see that you're back.
12/24/2006 c5 alex
ah, well that was annoying... my computer decided that it would be a swell idea tro submit a somewhat half-baked review and this place seems to frown on you submitting more than one reveiw per chapter.

anyway, to pick up from where i think i left off. Zack's section is most deffinatly a more emotional affair than the others wich make up the chapter. even if it is the shortest, you really do manage to effectivly convey just how much he regrets his action.

the description of the Syible is most deffinatly unsetling. there's something of a juxdepostion created by her physical apperance and the tone and context of what comes out of her mouth. the fact that you have her swining her legs (something that children just seem hell bent on doing, and thus is strongly accociated with them) makes her charater all the more unsettling.

despite the proffessional first impression we get of morgana, you get the sense that there's alot more to her, what with the somewhat vicious and sadistic backstories she alludes to.

-

despite the fact that Baal's reactio to the torture was all just a performance, it just makes you realize what a fucked up mo-fo Astarte is. waht's even more remarkable os the fact that you can almost lull the reader into feeling sorry for her since, as you have her progress through the carnavle, there's this huge sense of loss as you show us all the things she and her half used to do together. Asides from this recuring theam, there's the exotic enviroment of the carnavel itself. there's something wonderfully enchanting about the descscription and it's places like these that you really get a sense of culture and what not.

the arrival of the furries really breaks the pace of this proverbial trip down memory lane, something which effectivly brings us back to the main course of the narrative. again, it's small touches like the sign of alligence that really work to make pandimonium feel like a fully realized world.
12/24/2006 c4 alex
hmm, do i detect something of a Lovecraft refrence in the description of the temple of light? anyhow, the different sections of this chapter really work to contrast one another, what with Z
12/24/2006 c3 alex
In a way, it's interesting to see the radical 180 that zack and Ashely's relationship has gone through thanks to the lasting impression their first trip to Pandemonium left on them. in terms of charaterization, the different effects of their traumatization really works to show how different they really were. An example of this would probably be Zack's violent reaction to Ashely's attempts to open up a trap door since, prior to this, he always struck me as a more passive charater.

the description of ethan is both tragic and comical att he same time, providing a light relife for the dark turn this chapter takes as it progresses. the arrival of the Libraian in such a crippled state and the absense of the bench lady both act as a sign that something queer is afoot... and on a slightly laerger scale than it may have first appeared.
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