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for Zoning Out II

10/19/2006 c7 2Barraketh
Ain Suph? I tried so many anagrams... To no avail. Cliffhanger. I can't wait until the next chapter!

-derek
10/9/2006 c6 Barraketh
Yep, I'm hooked. Can't wait for the next chapter!

-derek.
10/9/2006 c2 Barraketh
This is something new. I'm not sure I understand it yet... but I'm intrigued! The mix of mythologies and the desctiption of the City has me hooked. You'll be hearing more from me!

-derek.
7/30/2006 c2 alex
this may be a somewhat shorter chapter to the opening but it contains the action-packed events of this section of the story.

your fight sequences have a great readiblity; the actions are discribed in a fluid manner with the occationl heavy bit of discription thrown in to make it effortlessly visable to the mind's eye. It would seem that each time you re-visit the furies, their image becomes even more horrific (i.e their veiny eyes.)
7/25/2006 c1 alex
from the way you set up the opening, it certainly takes into account those floating about this site who may not have had the pleasure of reading this story's predocessor. The heavy hints at what's come to pass also dose much to encourage one to go back to the origional story.

as always, it's so, so good to see the refrences to mythology (to the extent that you mention agamenmon's offspring) what with the apperence of the furies who's growth has a certain flow to it. they also seem utterly malevolent what with the discription of their narrow perpouse and the somewhat dramatic effect their screaming has.

the writting style shifts as we move from the prolouge to first chapter, losing the epic tones which fits the change of scenery. The trapdoors used in Ashley's are a nice throw back to one of the key fetures of the origional story and, from the note this chapter ends on, are going to be cropping up again. also the proerbial farmer seems to be an elude to whatever forces that are going to interupt this seemingly iddillic description of dampmine and in this case, that would seem to be ethan.

Josh reads like he fell straight out of one of those hedious teen rom-coms. in the short time he features, you manage to make it clear that he's a total dick what with his cheuvanistic mind setting.
6/30/2006 c3 4Mechanical Dolls
Oh! That's awesome! So she just sorta dumped Ethan back into the hole? Weird!

Ethan just sorta morphed into this Pandemonium creature right? (No, I don't know how to spell it. I copied and pasted. *is a cheater*)

Keep the updates coming!

-MD
6/15/2006 c2 Mechanical Dolls
Oh, that's right! Rhea would be safe there. Hehe.

But why Ethan? Did he go willingly or maybe he's forced to?

Anyway, can't wait for your next update!

-MD
6/15/2006 c1 Mechanical Dolls
*cue in excited squeal*

It's the sequal!

I love your beginning. The furies are awesome, I didn't think Astarte would summon them for revenge. But why would that effect Ashley and Zack?

Oh well, I guess I'll have to read on.

*is so glad she has you on author's alert*

-MD
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