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6/11/2006 c1 279the duck in the rain
it sounds like a desperate plea from a person who has already give up. i like the image of emotions seeping through- seeping through a mask, perhaps?

it seems that their are periods after every poetic line. it was a little distracting at first. i loathe punctation, so it really might only be distracting to me because of that.

the only place it seemed weird was the Let my writings speak to you. /All alone in dark and cold./ Many shadows cross my face./ Weep for wound the new and old. maybe it's cause i took those as two thoughts with four periods.

sorry to be picky, it was very good. i don't mean to offend. the rhyme worked. it was nice. -lily.

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