for Lime Green3/5/2007 c7 
10wywh sb
the style, with the short sentences, bugged me at first, but now i like it. its effectively distressing.
good job
10wywh sbthe style, with the short sentences, bugged me at first, but now i like it. its effectively distressing.
good job
8/23/2006 c7 wei
sup homie are you ever going to update?
sup homie are you ever going to update?
8/8/2006 c1 10Katatza
I really like this story so far! I like that you're not rushing it and the way you show her thought process. Keep it up :D
10KatatzaI really like this story so far! I like that you're not rushing it and the way you show her thought process. Keep it up :D
7/2/2006 c5 RosesAndKittens
Omg! Its soo sad, especially the last chapter! It seems as if its a little cliche', but thats alright, all cliche's turn into classic's.
Love, †The Cat†
Omg! Its soo sad, especially the last chapter! It seems as if its a little cliche', but thats alright, all cliche's turn into classic's.
Love, †The Cat†
6/23/2006 c5 5Just Crane
hey. i really like this story. its very emotional and powerful. Even though i noe that u will make ever attempt to make original, i hope that the plot wont go on with her making friends and eventually moving on w/ her life and gets a boyfriend.
btw, STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT REVIEWING
5Just Cranehey. i really like this story. its very emotional and powerful. Even though i noe that u will make ever attempt to make original, i hope that the plot wont go on with her making friends and eventually moving on w/ her life and gets a boyfriend.
btw, STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT REVIEWING
6/20/2006 c4 Heather
I really really really like your use of short, simple sentences. They do an extremely effective job of displaying the shock and pain that Jasmine still feels over her mom's death without getting sobby and annoying. As another reviewer mentioned, it shows the detachment she is probably feeling and really conveys that. Great job.
Can't wait to read more! :)
I really really really like your use of short, simple sentences. They do an extremely effective job of displaying the shock and pain that Jasmine still feels over her mom's death without getting sobby and annoying. As another reviewer mentioned, it shows the detachment she is probably feeling and really conveys that. Great job.
Can't wait to read more! :)
6/19/2006 c3 19katie killjoy
Pretty good...but a little short. It didn't convey as many emotions as the last chapter. Still very good...and wo...public school. Fun Fun...new adventures await!
19katie killjoyPretty good...but a little short. It didn't convey as many emotions as the last chapter. Still very good...and wo...public school. Fun Fun...new adventures await!
6/18/2006 c1 24IwasSmitten
I really liked this. I have to admit that all the short, simple sentences, which would be fine for a poem, were beggining to bug me a bit. Overall it's good and your very talented. And I don't tell that to everybody.
24IwasSmittenI really liked this. I have to admit that all the short, simple sentences, which would be fine for a poem, were beggining to bug me a bit. Overall it's good and your very talented. And I don't tell that to everybody.
6/18/2006 c2 19katie killjoy
Poor little thing...but she obviously still loves her mom if she keeps that sweater. Not sure where this is going exactly, but it's interesting.
And...does cocaine have a smell? I don't think it does...well at least I can never smell it on my crack-head friend. ^.^ Haha. Still the description worked. Good job.
19katie killjoyPoor little thing...but she obviously still loves her mom if she keeps that sweater. Not sure where this is going exactly, but it's interesting.
And...does cocaine have a smell? I don't think it does...well at least I can never smell it on my crack-head friend. ^.^ Haha. Still the description worked. Good job.
6/18/2006 c1 katie killjoy
Wow. I really like it. Jasmine seems so...hmm..stoical might be the word I'm looking for. I would have kicked some ass if anyone would have ripped my dead mom's sweater. Very good writing. I really like it. I liked how Jasmine is sort of numb to things...like she doesn't seem to care what happens...like none of it matters. Good.
I was going to send an e-mail, but yes, my story is quite bland...and I use labels quite often to portray the world...how they use labels for everyone all the time. It does need a lot of touch ups...I admit...I'm mainly writing it for this site for people's opinions of the plot etc. I will eventually be re-writing it and re-vamping things before I actually turn it into a book.
Wow. I really like it. Jasmine seems so...hmm..stoical might be the word I'm looking for. I would have kicked some ass if anyone would have ripped my dead mom's sweater. Very good writing. I really like it. I liked how Jasmine is sort of numb to things...like she doesn't seem to care what happens...like none of it matters. Good.
I was going to send an e-mail, but yes, my story is quite bland...and I use labels quite often to portray the world...how they use labels for everyone all the time. It does need a lot of touch ups...I admit...I'm mainly writing it for this site for people's opinions of the plot etc. I will eventually be re-writing it and re-vamping things before I actually turn it into a book.