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for Unforgiven

9/20/2007 c1 23Erimenthy
To follow word by word, I must say that usually the view expressed is that of one with too much pride, unwilling to admit to what they’d done, or the one who was hurt in such situations, and I was happy (contradictory, considering the poems subject) to read of something that involves the one who inflicted the damage feeling awful about what they’d done. I was getting tired of the other views. It was nice that in combination with the setting, the writing is smooth and with a good amount of detail to make the feelings clear. Its also shamefully easy to relate to, being human offers so many chances to mess up. Keep writing, of course!
9/22/2006 c1 14mindOFdeliriousUNREST
this is so sad! it's a great poem, but sadly, i know how you feel all to well. i hope everything turned out ok.by the way, thanks for the reviews. ~mindOFdeliriousUNREST~
7/19/2006 c1 31Leaving Here
i like this! :)awsomei love the whole theme...

thanxs for the review! :)~Liz
7/2/2006 c1 81Princess-anna57
Amazing poem, I can most definately relate! *applaudes*, keep writing!

6/26/2006 c1 With Rhyme and Reason
Before I talk about how much I like this poem, I have to point out one little typographical mistake. I usually don't do this, but this time it's worth it (and funny): "Wounded and Dammed". I reread that line a few times, then backed up and tried to find another beaver reference, and then decided it must be a type-o. I think you mean "Damned", my friend. "Damned". Unless you're trying to convey the feeling of a person with trapped up emotions. If that's the case, then kindly ignore this entire paragraph and cast spells of evil against me for my stupidity.

About the actual poem.

I could kind of sense a Jesus Christ undertone, but I may be completely wrong about this. Especially the last lines: "My eyes shedding bloody tears / Crying for the lost, wishing for redemption / Undeserving of the only thing that could set me free / Your forgiveness." Yes, there's definitely some Jesus stuff happening here.

This poem was painful for me. I don't THINK I've hurt anyone the way you're talking about, but I can only imagine how it might feel. VERY nice job putting pain into words. This is the only time that the phrase "Your poem was painful" will be a compliment coming from me.

And long live those "dam" beavers. Just kidding.

Nice job.
6/24/2006 c1 9Sakina the Fallen Angel
"My eyes shedding bloody tears"

Is this from the viewpoint of a vampire? So much angst, in so few words.

I've uploaded a new drabble called Swansong and I would be grateful if you could review it sometime.

Bwt, thanks for all of your reviews!

Sakina x
6/21/2006 c1 33LightfootLee
I liked it. It really managed to convey the pain we feel when the one we love is hurting. I know the feeling

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